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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at GCU chapter.


There will be times when you have feelings for somebody who may not feel the same way about you. You may think that there is a potential spark or that they are someone that you could work well with, but in actuality you just aren’t who they were looking for. Someone can seem great to you, and you can enjoy the time you spent with them, but it can turn out that they saw you in a platonic light and you could have been reading into something that was not meant to be any deeper. The experience of realizing that you are just not what someone was looking for can be painful, and it may cause you to want to blame them and think that there was some ulterior motive for the relationship dynamic that was created, but sometimes that’s not the case. Sometimes they genuinely are a good person, hence why you liked them in the first place. You cannot make everyone like you in the way that you desire, and while it hurts, that is the hard reality. He is not a bad person because your feelings were not reciprocated, and communicating feelings about the situation may be necessary for growth in this scenario.

Next steps

After realizing the person you had feelings for does not feel the same way, there are a few next steps you can take. It is likely that spending time with this person is going to be painful, and you may need to take some time away from them to get in a healthy state of mind before seeing them again. Setting this boundary can be a healthy decision to not project your hurt onto someone that cannot force themselves to view you in a romantic way. Try not to ghost this person, but avoid putting yourself in a position that can cause you to feel hurt about him not reciprocating your feelings. Another step would be to have a conversation about the situation and be honest about your feelings for them. While it is unreciprocated, getting your feelings out and having the person understand where you are at can help progress your friendship as it leads to different boundaries and is taken back to a platonic level. You do not have to end the friendship because of unreciprocated feelings, but taking a step back from how close you are could be a necessary action to take. Your next steps should be focusing on what is best for you and understanding that your feelings being unreciprocated is not a reflection of you or him, but instead it just shows that not everything is always meant to be in the way you desire.


Accepting that the person you had feelings for does not feel the same way is a large step to take, but ultimately this feeling of contentment is a great place to be in in order to move on. Seeing them no longer hurts, and you are free from worrying about their opinion of you. The friendship can go back to being purely platonic, and you are not concerned about what they may be doing at any given time. Knowing that you liked someone who is a good person is a good sign of your values and how you want to be treated, it just did not work out romantically this time. Platonic friendships are still a fantastic thing to be happy about. The time you spent together was still fun, you still enjoyed their company, and even though it did not work out the way you desired, you still gained a good friend out of the situation.

Hi! My name is Makenna, and I am the GCU Her Campus correspondent. I am a senior majoring in business management, and I am from Arizona! I love reading, writing, and being a part of Her Campus GCU!