I have a tendency to never let people go. I joke with my friends that once they become my friends they cannot get rid of me. However, in the busy season of life that many college students find themselves in it is hard to keep all your friendships. Maybe you no longer live in the same state as your friends from home or you have new responsibilities and it is hard to make time. College cultivates friendships and often too many to keep up with. It is important to take the time to be intentional with people. Friendships made in college often last a lifetime, so cultivate them.
Do not let fear stop you.
Friendships have highs and lows, especially when you have been friends for a long time. There comes a time where you just stop talking. Not on purpose but just because life gets in the way. After a while it becomes almost embarrassing that you let it get in that way, so you just never reach out. It is so easy to let the idea of rejection stop you from sending that text. I am currently in my junior year of college and I was feeling disconnected from my mentor in high school. It breaks my heart when people who once knew everything, are no longer familiar with the current me. I almost did not reach out because I figured if she felt the same way, she would reach out to me. In the end, I did. We had the best conversation and we are already planning our next coffee date. Never be afraid to reach out. Chances are they are thinking the exact same thing as you, so make the first move!
Recognize the importance of friendships.
Friends do come and go but there are some worth holding on to. Always keeping the door open for people you love deeply allows them to come back. It is important to recognize that even people who are no longer in your life did help shape who you are today. As young adults we are constantly growing into new people. It is so special to let the people who have known you deeply to be a part of that change. This reminds me of a lyric from Baz Lurmann’s song Everybody Wears Sunscreen, “Be nice to your siblings, they’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.” I also connect this back to friendships. College is filled with new and exciting people. It is so easy to say screw it to your old friendships and make new ones. While this can be done in a healthy way, it is so important to stick with the people who knew you when you were young. Friendship dynamics will change but it is so special to let in the people who helped shape you into who you are today.
Know how to set boundaries.
As important as it is to continue to strengthen friendships, there also comes a time where a friendship can no longer grow anymore. Recognize that you do not have to be around people who constantly make you feel like crap. It is important to know when to distance yourself. You can love from afar if that is where your friendship needs to be in that moment.
Friendships are deep, loving, and beautiful but they can also be tricky. I encourage you to take the time to be intentional with the people around you. The dynamic of a friendship will change as you grow into new people, but they are always worth fighting for.