I was sitting on the couch laughing with my friends, with a drink in my hand, when I realized that my period was late. I remembered my roommate had an extra pregnancy test that she let me use while we joked about the possibility of me ever having a child in college. For some reason being pregnant did not ever seem like a possibility at the time; it got to the point where it was almost comical to me. About three minutes later I saw two little faint lines appear on the test; I slid to the bathroom floor in disbelief. There were so many thoughts and emotions rushing through my mind and my body that I felt nothing and yet everything all at once. Growing up in a very conservative home, it made the decision regarding my pregnancy the most challenging moral dilemma I have ever faced. I knew that if I brought life into this world I would have to drop out of school and struggle to care for that life financially, but I also knew that termination would be something that would weigh heavily on my heart for the rest of my life. The weeks following were the hardest. Every morning I dealt with nausea, mood swings, bloating, weight gain, and stress. I started to isolate myself from my friends and family, and I became very depressed. My performance at school and work declined along with my motivation and happiness. I felt a ticking time bomb hovering over my head because I knew that I had to make a decision soon before my pregnancy progressed any further.
I sat down with my boyfriend and friends who assured me that they supported my decision no matter what, which is something that I would not have been able to experience with my family. After weeks and weeks of spiraling and weighing the outcomes of each decision, I decided I was going to terminate my pregnancy. I vividly remember the car ride on the way to the only confidential women’s clinic in my conservative city. I was greeted at the front with yelling protesters, a crowd holding up signs, and fear. As I walked up the steps to the clinic, a man holding a megaphone yelled at me that if I stepped foot in there I was going to hell. My heart dropped, but I proceeded. I would say the clinic itself was not a bad experience, but they did not prepare me for what my body was about to feel the days following. Fortunately, I was early enough in my pregnancy that I did not have to undergo a procedure, and I was able to take the Abortion Pill RU-486 instead.
At the clinic, the obstetricians instruct you to take the first pill, mifepristone, which blocks the pregnancy hormone, progesterone. Twenty-four to forty-eight hours later I was instructed to take four prescribed pain relievers that uncomfortablely dissolve in the pockets of your cheeks thirty minutes before taking misoprostal, which induces a miscarriage. About half an hour after this process I started to feel shaky and nauseous. Over the next four hours, I endured the worst cramps and pain I have ever experienced in my life. It was a physically and mentally traumatic experience. The doctors had told me I would experience symptoms “similar to a period,” but that was a drastic understatement. The following four weeks I experienced fatigue, mood swings, guilt, and flooding bleeding. It was debilitating and impairing.
I wanted to share my experience with other young college girls to emphasize the importance of safe sex as well as to inform people about the abortion process. One mishap can drastically alter your life, and I would not wish what I went through on anyone. I wish someone had warned me or prepared me for what was to come when I had made my decision.
If you or someone you know is going through a similar experience, I urge you to take advantage of the free counseling that is offered with every abortion. It is a very grueling experience on the body and the mind, and talking about it with a professional or someone other than your friends or family is greatly beneficial.