A Love Letter to my Vibrator

Dear Vibrator, 

You are always there for me when I need a pick-me-up. When I feel sad or lonely, you comfort me in ways only you know how to do. 

No boyfriend, girlfriend, or tumultuous lover can compare to your smooth pink exterior and quiet vibrations that bring me to climax each time we meet. 

Even when we do not meet for many days (or weeks sometimes) I know we will always meet again eventually.

You help me sleep when I am restless and can think of nothing but all the sh*t I have to do the following day.

You, lasting longer than any relationship I’ve had (and or person I’ve had sex with), always wait for me to finish first. 

And for that, I owe you so much.

But above all else you know exactly where the clitoris is.