In a world of self-deprecating gallows humor, we all hear the humorous exclamations of, “Oh my god, please kill me.” Or we point at a trash can and say, “Me.” Popular culture today centered on self-perception and self-care may say that these jokes are bad, and some definitely are, but studies prove that laughing at yourself is beneficial to your overall mental health!
However, there are times where our words do affect our overall self-perception. The way we talk about ourselves sets the stage for how we take care of ourselves, and in turn, how we let others treat us. In the awfully poetic The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Charlie’s English teacher says, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Now, this quote has been highlighted and posted on so many girls’ VSCO’s, but do we actually take this into question? What if we accept sh*tty love because we don’t even love ourselves right?
This article isn’t about taking bubble baths or wearing face masks every night to finally love yourself. Self-image is much more than some materialistic approaches to self-care. Not to say that self-care can’t be those things, but our climate doesn’t harp on other dynamics of self-care and self-love.
My inspiration for this concept of positive self-talk comes from a badass lady I follow on Instagram. Here name is Lara, and she has lots of vagina problems (which is hilariously the name of her upcoming book!) that have caused her to completely reconstruct her sexuality and identity.
One of my favorite things, among many, is that she always uses the expression, “I love this for me,” as seen in one of her more recent trips to a cannabis café.
She says this a lot in her Instagram captions and stories, and the more that I see it, the more I am perplexed by the understated yet powerful declaration. Can I happily lay in bed in my underwear all day Sunday? Uh, yeah. I’d love that for me. It’s all about the perception of what you deserve and maximizing on what you can do for optimal self-love. Would you love something for yourself? Then do it. And then say, “I love this for me.” It’s a radical, yet so peaceful, statement and action of self-love. Only serve yourself the idea of love that you would accept from yourself, and the rest will follow.