Growing up in Maryland, I knew virtually everyone went to the same three in-state colleges, each no more than an hour away from home. When my time came around to visit and apply to colleges, I decided I wanted to leave home to gain a fresh start. I ultimately decided on Florida State University (FSU), which has afforded me three spectacular years and a multitude of opportunities for when I graduate. It has not always been a walk in the park, though, being 900 miles away from home. I have missed family events and felt like an outsider at my own school. Here are the different ways I have dealt with being an out-of-state student.
Video chats
It may seem simple, but FaceTime has been my saving grace being away from home. I still get to see my friends and family and feel like I am a part of the fun back home. I can watch my little brother grow up in real-time and engage in more meaningful conversations with people. FaceTime has also allowed me to show my friends and family what I am doing and share my world with them.
Getting involved on campus
It often seems like imposter syndrome comes with being an out-of-state student. Most people at FSU are in-state students and have shared experiences from that. I struggled for my first year at FSU with feeling like I belonged, partially due to being from a different state. Even though I did not grow up with alligators and Disney World, making connections with people on campus has helped me feel more like I belonged. I threw myself into different groups on campus that sparked my interest, like Leadership LOGIC, Her Campus and Transfer Student Services, and found a community among them. Being integrated into the fabric of campus through clubs has helped me feel like I belong at FSU.
Journaling
Sometimes, no one is available for a FaceTime call and I do not have a club meeting for another few days. Journaling has been one of the best ways that I have found to deal with homesickness or Imposter Syndrome. I can get my feelings out of my head and not dwell on them. Putting my thoughts down on paper makes them feel less insurmountable and endless, they are finite and something I can close the book on, literally.
Returning home for breaks
Instead of planning a trip to the beach or an exotic location, I decided to go home for breaks from school. Even though it may not be as exciting as spending Spring Break in Miami, going home allows me to catch up with friends and family while recharging in an environment I am familiar with. Plus, it gives me the extra push to finish the semester strong so I can return home once more.
Making an effort to create relationships
I am a very extroverted person, but I used to find it hard when I started college to go out of my way to form connections with people. I learned as a young adult that friendships need effort and do not just fall onto your lap. Whether it is asking someone from my club to get coffee or studying with a classmate after a lecture, just asking someone to spend time together can initiate the start of a friendship. At first, this felt like a daunting task. I often feared that the other person would say no, but I soon realized that most other college students also want to make those relationships on campus. Creating connections on campus has made me feel a stronger sense of belongingness and distracted me from dwelling on how far I am from home.
Looking at the big picture
Sometimes when dealing with heavy feelings, I focus too much on the very immediate situation I am in: I feel lonely. I do not know many people here and I do not belong here. Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture has been the most helpful for homesickness and imposter syndrome. I am more easily able to recognize that I am not alone in my feelings. Other students feel the same way I do, and it is a completely normal part of becoming an adult in a new environment. College is only about four years of a long lifetime.
After my time at FSU, I could decide to move back home where I do not need GPS to get around. College is not a never-ending experience, so I always make sure to remind myself to make the most of my time here.
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