We all have insecurities, some of us hide it better than others, while the rest of us have a hard time covering them up. For me, I cover them up so no one can see or even notice that I don’t like certain things about myself. But that is all about to change this week because I have decided that enough is enough, I need to learn how to really be comfortable with myself. So, as a way of trying to be comfortable with my “flaws” I have decided to put one of my top insecurities to the test and see how far I can go with this.
Day 1: Monday
To start this week, I am not going to wear my dearly loved contact lenses but ditch them for my thick brown spectacles. Look, not that there is anything wrong with wearing glasses, I mean other people can pull them off, but for me, I just feel like I cannot.
This is me internally crying because I strongly dislike my glasses while drinking my iced coffee.
It is the end of the day and honestly, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I will admit though, it did feel weird wearing glasses. I still did not like the experience because I ended up having to wipe them since dirt would get on them. Plus, it just reminded me of childhood traumas I encountered because of my glasses (getting hit by a dodge ball in the face while wearing a thick pair of bright red glasses in the first grade).
Day 2: Tuesday
So, I woke up late this morning and rushed out the door wearing a messy bun and my thick glasses. The fact that I was consistent with wearing glasses again after having worn them all day yesterday had me shooketh.
Ok but the real tea here is is that I had dinner by myself today and managed to be ok about it. Well, if I am being totally honest, I was kind of sad and nervous about eating alone since I either manage to eat with my friends or FaceTime my sister but I decided to push myself and face this fear, however small and stupid it may be, and just eat solo.
This is a picture of me after I had a bomb four-course meal!
Would I do it again? Yes! Eating a meal alone today has allowed me to realize that this little fear of mine to be ostracized for being a loner at a dining hall, was diminished once I realized how valuable alone time truly is and how irrational this fear of mine was. Even though I spazzed a little on the phone with my mom beforehand, it was worth it.
Day Three: Wednesday
Ah yes, Wednesday. My week is practically over, meaning my little journey as well. NOT. Alright so I kind of cheated on this challenge of mine when I went to the gym and I wore my contact lenses instead of my glasses. But, it was only because I didn’t want the hassle of having my glasses covered in sweat or have them slipping down my nose!
Besides, wearing my funky glasses out in public is one of my biggest insecurities and fears but wearing them at a packed dining hall on campus for dinner, was truly the kicker. Ironically, I ended up inviting a friend over to have dinner with me as well. What was truly surprising to me though was how I was actually comfortable with how I looked. For once, I didn’t even feel uncomfortable or unsure of myself. I was just myself. And I liked it.
This is me enjoying my blue Powerade while my friend Kylie went to grab a second plate of food!
Oh yeah! I also saw a big furry spider (another big fear of mine) and I did freak out. I own it. But I was able to relax and convince myself it wouldn’t hurt me like I thought it would.
Day Four: Thursday
It suddenly became second nature for me to wear my glasses and I’m shocked but happy. Before, I would walk with my head down low because I was embarrassed about being seen in my glasses. This morning, I have never felt so confident before!
This is me feeling myself under the lighting. #goldenegg
Day Five: Friday
At this point, I might just wear my glasses from now on because I feel cute. I have also gotten compliments on them and on how great I look with them from my close friends and family! I also found myself walking with my head held higher and my smile was brighter, leaving me to know that I liked the way I looked. I was eating my lunch today by myself, in Suwannee dining hall, listening to my Call Her Daddy podcast, while flaunting around my gorgeous glasses. Now, THAT is a self-esteem glow-up!
This is me on the final day of my challenge absorbing some sun where I also realized that glasses are pretty nice!
Final Thoughts
I never thought I would say this but I think I am over being insecure about the things that make me, me. This week I challenged myself to wear my glasses out in public for the first time in years after I recently had a breakdown on why I wasn’t born perfect, how my glasses made me look “ugly” and how I wish I looked like other girls.
By pushing myself to do something I would have never done, I learned to like the one thing I used to hate about myself. I just hope that for anyone that is facing any insecurities, they learn to really love themselves too!
All images courtesy of Madelyn Mairena.
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