A lot of people ask me why I got my “I am worthy” tattoo. It’s my smallest tattoo, a piece of script writing on my left collarbone. Getting this tattoo was a catalyst moment for me, where I began to understand that self-worth doesn’t just come from my productive output, but it comes from the essence of our humanity. I learned that it’s sometimes okay to just be for some time in order to piece yourself back together to withstand any shortcoming or celebratory moment.
Academic validation is a term that refers to interactions in academia that help students gain confidence in their abilities to succeed. The further you achieve, the more validation you receive. As a first-generation student, I felt a lot of this pressure entering college, feeling like I had to prove my reason for being here and why I deserved the opportunity that many others receive to pursue success in higher education.
Coming from immigrant parents — while I love them to pieces — their expectations of me, which are also the ones I set for myself, began to define how I saw my self-worth. If I didn’t do well on an exam, I’d be crushed. If an article I published for Strike Magazines at the time got a lot of critiques, I’d be hard on myself. If I didn’t hit the gym that day, it would feel like the end of the world.
At the start of my college career, I took this ambition for success too far and began to base how I felt about myself on the amount I produced and what task I could check off my to-do list. Having productivity be the center of one’s inner worth makes it based on how others value you and whether you meet these external expectations.
Self-worth is usually used in tandem with self-esteem; however, self-esteem relies on external achievements while self-worth represents an internal value of ourselves. Your self-worth can heavily dictate how you treat yourself and what you believe you deserve.
When you base your value solely on your work, you run the risk of having low self-worth whenever you need to recover. I personally face this frequently, where I find that I’m not productive because I’m tired or in need of rest, and it can make me feel guilty when I don’t complete what I expected of myself. Notice the use of self-expectations and how the bar is continuously raised to never be enough.
I had to adapt my limited mindset and understand that rest wasn’t in itself failure, but failing to take rest was. Those days when I felt that I had to drag myself on to make it to the finish line, rather than just pausing in between. That pause gives you a moment to recenter and check in. Is what you’re doing aligning with what you want? That’s what I ask myself when I take a step back.
This reflection doesn’t happen overnight, but it gives grace to how I felt in moments when things seemed unclear, and I was left feeling unsure; rest was always my savior. When you feel like you don’t have time, slow down. Our humanity isn’t a weakness; it’s what brings us our most valued memories.
Resting doesn’t equal the absence of self-worth. It’s this care, when needed, that reveals what’s needed. In these moments, I find where I need to shift to make my lifestyle more fulfilling.
My “I am worthy” tattoo has served as a reminder to myself that I don’t have to prove my worth through an accomplishment. My worth comes before the “A,” before the article, and before the recognition. You don’t have to earn your worth; you’re worthy because you are.
Want to see more HCFSU? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, YouTube, and Pinterest!