For many college students, graduation is the ultimate finish line, one that individuals dream of reaching during their university years. Rather than being present, enjoying experiences, and making memories with one’s peers, the college pipeline for many has become one of studying for exams and project deadlines, and joining every possible extracurricular. As the pressure to perform well continues to rise, students may find themselves focusing solely on their output.
As a senior looking back, here’s some advice from someone who seemingly “has it together” but struggles to stay present. While, as seniors, a lot of us find ourselves in a time of transition, anxious for what’s to come next, and highly focused on the future, it’s just as important to worry about what’s happening right in front of you.
While the primary focus as a senior is on finding your next big girl job or applying to graduate school, there are other values to life outside of accomplishments and academic validation. It can be easy to fall into the everyday flow of work, school, and activities. A lot of students can get stuck in the loop of completing a project and immediately moving onto the next thing — hedonic adaptation.
Hedonic adaptation is how humans constantly return to a baseline level of emotion, even after a major achievement. Rather than having a strong positive or negative reaction to an event, a person experiencing hedonic adaptation will stay in a neutral state.
Before, when things would get chaotic, and there would be multiple assignments due in a week, I’d go into hermit mode and “lock in” to finish them. Hedonic adaptation (AKA autopilot) is a state that I was in constantly to get things done. After getting out of one “rough week,” another would pile on just as quickly, making me think that I always had to save experiences for later or I could always do it another time.
One thing that I personally feel deeply as a senior is a sense that I can no longer push experiences back. This is the last semester I’ll be an undergraduate student.
Presence, as defined by Oxford Languages, is stated to be the “state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.” Having presence rather than looking towards the future is one of the primary ways to stay grounded and in the moment throughout university. While many individuals go through this experience to make themselves uncomfortable by seeking change and growth, it’s essential to find moments to not solely focus on the future.
One of my primary struggles was that I was never present; I lived for the future moment, always making sure that I was prepared or thinking ahead. I didn’t enjoy what was going on in real time. I constantly worried about what I should do next. What project should I work on? What organization should I join? I attached my value as a person to what I created. I used feelings of burnout and stress as a badge of honor that I was doing the “right” thing and putting my future first.
The problem is that when you never find presence, it’s always about this next version of yourself, rather than giving some compassion to yourself now.
Rather than constantly chasing feelings of burnout through overworking yourself, it’s imperative to choose moments to make memories and experience natural joy. Dopamine is a type of neurotransmitter that plays a role in important functions of the body and is associated with regulating mood, inducing feelings of joy.
Students can tend to get these feelings of dopamine through academic validation, that moment of high after you receive an ‘A’ on an exam is because of this neurotransmitter. It can become addicting to override everything else in one’s life to chase that high, whether it be your next ‘A,’ accolade, or award.
Being present means being intentional about making moments of joy with others — whether their major memories or not — rather than solely just focusing on what assignment needs to be completed next. It could be as simple as taking a slower morning than usual or making a friend laugh in class.
These seemingly small parts of our day can boost our happiness and make us feel more connected not only to the moment in front of us but to those around us. By getting wrapped up in what’s next in our own lives, we can miss what’s going on with our peers or family members.
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel,” Maya Angelou said.
There’s a primary reason why people resonate with emotions. The small words and phrases we say can leave an imprint on another for the rest of their life. These connective moments can get “lost in the sauce” of the everyday to-do list if there is no effort given to them. This brought me to question the mindset that I brought to achievement and the way I wanted to approach it.
How do I want to feel when I reach my graduation? Tired and burnt out or filled with joy and memories that are unforgettable? I choose to see graduation not as a finish line but as a stop before my next transition. I choose to be present. There will never be the “right time” to enjoy life; you’ll constantly be looking for what’s the next best thing rather than seeing what’s right in front of you.
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