Finally, I made it to my dream school. This is going to be great! Wait, where are my friends, what bus do I take, where’s the Student Union?! I hate it here! Believe it or not, those were my first thoughts when I transferred to FSU. I am originally from South Florida, so North Florida was a whole new world for me. I didn’t understand why the roads here were so weird, I could not find my favorite restaurants, and I constantly got lost on campus. I was the loud, outgoing, crazy friend back home, but here I was the lost quiet girl who never left her apartment. Being away from home for the first time in 20 years filled me with anxiety.
Courtesy: Second Serve
I was too shy to speak and I did not recognize anyone. There are times that I enjoy being alone, but I felt lonely as the days passed and I did not make any friends. Don’t get me wrong, I did try, a little. I went to the welcome week comedy shows, but you don’t really meet people while you’re crying from laughter. I also signed up for clubs but I couldn’t work up the confidence to go to the meetings. Crazy, right? When I was in high school, I was in almost every club and barely had time by myself. I missed that feeling. I thought I was doomed to spend my next two years of college alone and bored. This was not the way I planned everything out. Feeling sorry for myself, I often cried or called my friends and talk to them for hours because I felt so alone. I never told my friends how lonely I actually was because I felt like I was a burden. When I finally talked to a few of my classmates, I was so afraid of becoming that clingy, overbearing friend.
Courtesy: Barking Up The Wrong Tree
But one day, one of my classmates invited me to her 21st birthday party. I was so happy but terrified. I barely knew anything about her, we had talked only a few times, and I didn’t want to screw anything up. Out of fear of being asked in person and the pressure of being put on the spot, I said yes. In my mind, I was screaming “dear God what have I done?” After going through every worst-case scenario in my head, I finally calmed down. I wanted to cancel out of fear, but I went because I was tired of being alone. At the party, we realized we both love traveling, Thai food and photography. I had an amazing time and my loneliness disappeared.
Courtesy: WikiHow
This was the first step, but then I started to talk to my classmates more often and got more involved on campus. I also joined the Caribbean Student Association, the photography club and got involved with Her Campus. Now I have so many things to look forward to this year besides classes and work. I look back on the time I wasted being alone in my apartment when I could have been making memories, but I am not mad that it happened. I learned new things about myself while I was alone. I tried new hairstyles, recipes, learned how to draw digitally, and taught myself how to use photoshop. I am grateful for the lesson I learned, but don’t ever tell yourself that you can’t be outgoing or make an effort to meet new people like I did. You are underestimating yourself. Believe in yourself and have confidence, and even if it doesn’t go as you planned; life goes on.
Courtesy: Happiful Magazine
For those who are too scared to meet new people, don’t worry, I know exactly how you feel. But don’t forget you have to make an effort to meet new people and make connections. Try telling people more about yourself to see if they have many similarities. Your worst-case scenario is probably over-exaggerated and never going to happen. To my extroverts and party people reading this, look for shy, introverted people and strike up a conversation. You never know how much it could mean to someone.
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