How to Deal with Heartbreak in College

Unfortunately many of us have been there, the guy (or girl) you were dating decides they want something else and all of a sudden you find yourself alone, heartbroken, and possibly two thirds of the way through a Ben and Jerry’s pint.  Whether it was a long time coming or out of the blue, heartbreak hurts, especially in college.  You might feel like your world is crashing down but here are some tips that hopefully can help heal your broken heart.  

1. Talk to People

I know it is not easy, it’s embarrassing and even sometimes hard to say out loud.  But don’t underestimate your roommate, mom, siblings, or friends from home.  Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends who you may have drifted apart from while you were dating, you may be surprised by who reaches out and truly cares about your well being.  If you don’t feel comfortable talking to a friend or someone else, every school has a counseling center that usually has walk-in times.  Even if you just go once or twice, talking through what happened can be a great way to get everything off your chest and give you the platform to move forward with your life.

 

2. You Don’t Have To Tell Everyone

That being said, you don’t have to tell everyone or anyone.  Tell the people who matter to you, the ones who care for you, but you are also allowed to keep your business your own.  I like to function on the need-to-know basis. My mom, roommate, and closest friends I update on important events such as these, but there's no need to tell all my teammates, club members, and lab partner (unless you want to!).

 

3. Get Involved

I cannot stress how important it is to keep yourself busy. Even the days you can barely crawl out of your bed, let alone go outside and see sunshine, you have to.  It is the quickest and most effective way to get your mind off of it.  Join a team, join a club, tutor someone, go on a hike: get in the habit of getting out and doing something with people.  Being around people and talking about other unrelated things is the best way to get your mind to focus on other healthy topics and you can get to build yourself back together without him (or her).

 

4. Exercise!

Even if you’re one of those people who absolutely hate anything that involves athletics or sweating, try to get outside or try a new gym class or anything.  Scientifically the endorphins will boost your mood and make you feel better, but exercise is also a great stress reliever and another great way to socialize and interact positively with new people.  You may be surprised, there is something for everyone! Whether it’s taking a walk or slow jog around campus to get some fresh air, or trying a spin, aerobic, or yoga class, try something!  What do you have to lose?

 

5. Do Things For You

It may not be what you want to hear right now, but now you get to date yourself! Yay! Stop smirking, this is a good thing I promise.  It may be hard to see but this could possibly be a blessing in disguise.  You get to do things that make you happy, figure out what YOU like and dislike.  Even if you have your eye on someone else, take a few weeks and get to know yourself a little bit better.  And be kind to yourself.  It’s tough to lose someone who was a big part of your life, especially when there are reminders of them everywhere you look, so start making your own memories that won’t remind you of them.  Get a pedicure, reorganize your room, eat good food, get a haircut that you like, buy clothes that are comfortable and make you feel good, listen to music that makes you happy. You have the rest of your life to date people and be in relationships, but right now in college is a great time to really focus on yourself. This is the time to become your own best friend and girl/boyfriend, enjoy it!

Lastly, just don’t give up.  It is definitely okay to feel sad, but take it from a heartbreak-survivor – as cliche as it may sounds – each day really does get better.  Get up, make yourself a cup of coffee, do things for yourself, put away the things that remind you of them. Clean your room, clean your mind, surround yourself with good real people. Think about other things, think happy thoughts, make plans for yourself, think about studying abroad if it interests you, or plan a road trip with your girl friends.  You’re strong, and you’re only going to get stronger.  And hey, someday someone is going to come along and love every last part of you, but until then enjoy loving yourself.  This is college! It is a single-girl’s world, now put down the ice cream and go enjoy living in it.