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So, unfortunately for a lot of us, we’ve been through a breakup or are going to go through a breakup at some point in our lives. Some relationships aren’t meant to last forever, or they just aren’t meant to be for the time being. It can be hard to accept that a relationship is over, and that we’ve lost someone who meant a lot to us at some point in our life. I’m not an expert, but I do have a couple tips for those currently going through a breakup and need a little guidance. 

It’s important to surround yourself with supportive friends and family after your breakup. You may have the urge to isolate yourself and stay in bed all day, but this can make things worse. It can be helpful to vent to those around you. Just having someone listen to you can make you feel a tiny bit less alone. The other people in your life can remind you that you have them to turn to when you need advice or just someone to listen to your problems. One thing to remember is that sometimes you may not get the advice you need or want from everyone you turn to. Everyone’s relationship is very different, so it’s hard for someone to understand exactly what to say. There are also some people who give “blunt” advice, telling you to just get over it because maybe this person didn’t treat you right or you weren’t meant to be. You don’t have to listen to these kinds of people. They have good intentions but sometimes they don’t know how to express that in the right away. You’re totally allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling and allow yourself the proper time to heal.  On this note, allowing yourself to cry and let out your emotions can be very beneficial during this time. Sometimes it’s easy to get down on yourself for spending a lot of time thinking about the situation and becoming emotional, but that’s totally normal and will begin to slow down over time. Listening to sad music can be a good way to let out your emotions, because when you hear what other people have gone through with relationships and breakups, it can make you feel better.  

After a breakup, both you and your ex-partner will be very emotional from whatever events took place that lead up to the breakup and the breakup itself, so it’s very healthy to allow a bit of space between the two of you for at least thirty days. It will give you some time to heal, and remember the person you were before your relationship with your ex. This will give you both some time to think about what you want going forward as well, and what I mean by this is evaluating what happened and whether the relationship was meant to end or could somehow continue in the future. I’m not saying this to get anyone’s hopes up or say that you should get back with your ex because I have no way of knowing anyone’s specific situations. However, if your relationship ended because of fixable problems the two of you had, and there was always lots of love between you and your partner, then getting back together is possible. I wouldn’t focus on this, only because the time right after a breakup is meant for healing, finding yourself once again, and discovering what goals you want to reach in your life. Then you can think about a potential future with your ex, if that is what’s meant to be. You should only reach out to them when you feel like you know it’s possible to have a happy life without them.    

Distractions are important after a breakup, because you probably won’t want to be thinking about this bad event in your life every second of everyday for months. Finding a new hobby can be a great way to get your mind off things. I know it can be harder to find distractions right now during this pandemic, but there are some things you can do at home to get your mind off the breakup. You can read or listen to books/audiobooks, find new shows to binge on Netflix or Hulu, color in a coloring books, try something new out with your hair (be careful when giving yourself haircuts), take a walk around your neighborhood, expand your music tastes on Spotify, and so much more.  

Lastly, I think it’s important to note that this is going to be a difficult time in your life, but you are strong and can get through it. It will take a lot out of you, but there will be positives. You’ll discover new things about yourself and the people around you. You’ll know who you can really turn to in a dark time. You’ll find out what you want in your next relationship, whoever that may be with. It will give you a chance to fall in love with the person you’re going to be.  

Eva DeSousa

Framingham '23

I'm a fashion major and I love reading and spending time with friends.
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