Approach anxiety is related to human to human interaction. Keep in mind having some anxiety is completely normal. It makes you human. This article is about giving advice on how to reduce high level anxiety. Approach anxiety is derived from assumptions, insecurities, and false beliefs. Just because someone looks a certain way doesn’t mean they are perfect. That person still has their own insecurities and flaws.
To get over something or to reduce it you need to confront it. Everyday say “hi, how is it going?” to a total stranger or an acquaintance. It can be on the bus or train to a neighbor, someone on campus, cashier, anyone.
I have approach anxiety from time to time and to combat it I use the 3 second rule. I try to talk to everyone this way.
It’s all about consistency, the more you do something the easier it should become. If you’re having trouble saying “hi” to someone you can try any of these ice breakers. I have firsthand tried these with great success.
– “Dude, that’s a sick shirt.”
– “Nice kicks man.”
– At the gym “How is your workout going?”
– To a cashier “How is your day/ night going?”
– “How is it going? Did you watch the game?”
I think you get the picture. Another excellent method to feel energized before approaching people is to yell something in your car while driving to your destination. If I’m feeling tired or one of those days I don’t want to talk to anyone. When I’m in my car I yell (not too loud I don’t want to startle my elderly neighbors) “YEAH!!! GOOOOOOD MORNING!!!!” yeah, yeah laugh it up. It does wonders for my self-esteem . While brushing my teeth, I dance. Yes. I dance while brushing my teeth. I’m not talking about going full throttle with my moves. Just something light to get myself hyped. You might not want to do this because it’s corny, but to become a better you, you must get out of your comfort zone. I didn’t wake up one day and suddenly improved my interpersonal skills. I’ve worked on my craft and so can you. If you could take one message from all of this it is to smile when approaching people. A smile will do wonders to whatever it is you’re saying—of course within reason. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “there’s a million ways to say the exact same thing.” If you approached someone and say “hi, how is it going?” in a very low, monotone voice you might not get the response you were looking for. If you said “Hi! How is it going?” while smiling and using a little bit more energy. The response you’ll receive will probably be much better. Another great method is to create rules for yourself (i.e. the 3 second rule). “Rules create habits and habits create momentum in your life” (PUA Training). Experience is the key. Experience will make you feel more confident. You need to keep a consistent momentum going. It’s like going to the gym every day for a month. Then taking a break and going back you’ll feel like you’ve lost some strength. The same concept applies with anxiety. I’ve had days where I’m uplifted and full of energy. I take a break for a few days and my anxiety returns. If you follow these steps I believe you will be on your way in reducing your high-level anxiety.
Training, PUA. “7 Simple Things You Must Do To Get Over Approach Anxiety.” PUA Training. N.p., 12 Apr. 2013. Web. 28 Apr. 2017.