As I hit 21, going on dates is something I’d fallen out of love with as it seemed more like a chore. Two years post this dilemma and bored feeling, as I’m sitting in a cafe writing this article, I can’t help but ponder over when a guy in his trench coat (emulating Benjamin Barry from “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days”) would offer me an empty space and spark up a conversation with me. As he did this, he made me realize that dating is all about the stories, and not what the algorithms tell you who is the right fit for you. Sure, the irony isn’t lost on rom-coms setting up unrealistic expectations in our mundane lives per say, but isn’t that what our lives are made of? A series of events which are the cause and consequence of our actions and not really something an algorithm can decide.
Intentional dating is now an active choice. People are prompting others to delete their dating apps and step out into the real world, willing to face the possibility of an in-person rejection with the hopes of a meet-cute story we yearn for. Dating apps were considered to change the dating landscape, but in 2025, I believe we should leave them in the past.
Their history can be traced back as far as 1959 with the launch of Happy Families Planning Service (as a group project using the IBM 650 to match 49 men and 49 women). While there has been experimentation with the introduction of multiple platforms, Shaadi.com introduced in 1997, made headlines where grooms could be found by just stating specific preferences, although limited to India. The introduction of GPS, however, proved to be a game changer. Grindr (a dating app for LGBTQ+ individuals) brought the philosophy of “being near your loved ones” to life, emulated by Tinder and Bumble, which are apps majorly used by heterosexuals, with Hinge and OkCupid being new players. Due to the easy accessibility of an app which is GPS friendly and a low-effort swiping feature to find matches, the popularity of Tinder bloomed. Tinder hit billion swipes a day (two years after its launch) and occupied 32% of the dating app market, while apps like Bumble and Hinge (with their own unique features) followed suit.
With its evolution along technological development, there is an inherent gamification of the app. How many people can you match with before finding the one, what will be the compatibility percentage, and how can the romantic lives of users be decided based on how quickly one can swipe on their potential partner, are a few questions that reflect just this.
Dating apps offer the convenience of finding a potential partner on a lazy Sunday afternoon, but there has been a report of significant burnout from dating apps. Gen Zs and Millennials take the top spot because of the two-faced nature of an online personality vs real life personality. There is now a removal of “Rizz coloured glasses” , contributing to the disillusionment of dating apps and its quick-fix to loneliness. Continued criticism of dating apps feel like “never-ending job interviews” (even among millennials) and have been vocalised along with criticism on the business model of dating apps via the subscription model, prompting a continued drop in its user-base.
The loss of subscribers have begun reflecting in financial reports of dating apps which prompted Bumble to launch a billboard ad-campaign, aiming for mocking women who have taken “a vow of celibacy” and facing backlash. This however, sparked an interesting observation. Tired from low-effort dating, bread-crumbing and ghosting, women have taken a backseat in dating, reflected in the virality of the term “Boy-Sober” on Tik-Tok reflecting the dissatisfaction of women with the current dating landscape.
“I was at that place where I was like, ‘I don’t want to keep repeating any patterns anymore,’” said Hudson. “I have a great therapist who was like, ‘I can help you, but you have to do it.’ He’s like, ‘Get off the sauce.’”
Hudson explained that the transition was difficult because she loves to flirt — and that although the process was “strangely empowering,” it was also “very uncomfortable” and “not fun.” But after about six months, she was seeing things “much more clearly.” She also said the experience changed her taste in men. “The guys that normally would’ve been like, ‘Oooh,’ [I] was like, ‘No.’”
– Kate Hudson on the “Call her daddy” podcast.
As I’m writing this article in the same cafe, two hours later, it’s given me the perfect realization that dating apps really were never the answer. My response on resorting to dating apps to find a potential connection is always met with “I’m bored”, a sentiment being realised among enough people to impact revenue of corporations that have relied on its user-base for profit. While they’re still available for use, the declining engagement has led to a realisation that while dating apps were set up to revolutionise the intersection between modern day romance and technology, it is now buried in its former glory.
