self-love

What You Needed to Hear

To be completely transparent, there have been days here and there, where my thoughts and worries have gotten the best of me. These thoughts have led me to change the way I see myself. It’s safe to say that many of us have had those days too, and maybe going through that struggle right now. It is completely normal and part of being a living, breathing, and thinking human being. Even so, it’s imperative that we do not become absorbed by those thoughts or allow uncontrollable external events that happen in our lives to get the best of us. Whenever I start to question my worth or capacity to succeed, I like to use these affirmations to keep myself in check, and hopefully, they can help you too: 

  1. 1. Watch Your “Self Talk” & Comparisons

    You know exactly what I am talking about: the little critic in your head. Bashing yourself is one of the bigger obstacles stopping you from getting ahead in life. There have been times where I have looked in the mirror and said negative things about my body to myself, and I know I am not the only one. An amazing way of coming out of this loop is to talk to yourself as if you were your own best friend. If you wouldn’t say those things to someone you cared about, then you should never say them to yourself. We are often too hard on ourselves for the wrong reasons, and instead, we need to catch ourselves in these moments and be more compassionate towards ourselves. Instead of telling yourself, “I am not good enough”, you can change your wording to a more affirmative light. For example, telling yourself: “I am still growing and can improve.” By doing this, you are changing the way you think about yourself and fight your inner critic. Besides this, that inner critic can also be triggered by comparisons. One thing to always keep in mind is that no one in the world is exactly like you, and you should always take advantage of that. We often compare ourselves to the public figures we see online and wish that we could be like them. When you do this, you need to remind yourself that people show the world what they want that world to see. Just because a girl on Instagram posts a picture with her hair in tousled, perfect waves doesn't mean they always look like that. Angles, poses, lighting, and so many other factors can be used to manipulate space in photography, effectively working as an illusion in some cases to change what is truly there. Reminding yourself of these things can work to stop your inner critic from comparing yourself to others, and help you accept that who you are is perfect. 

  2. 2. Stop Trying to Make Other People Happy

    You know yourself better than anyone. It will not work trying to please everyone. You should always be considerate of others when making decisions, but find a balance to where you can be happy as well. When you make an important decision, especially when it involves your personal growth and development, you have to consider how you feel and put yourself first. This may not only apply to situations where the environment is toxic, but also in casual instances. If your friends want to have a girl's night out, but you want to take time for yourself or simply “aren't feeling it,” it is perfectly okay to say no. You cannot please everyone, and because you are your own person, it is not your responsibility to do so. If you want to put out the best version of you, you have to take care of yourself and your needs first.

  3. 3. Stop Doubting Yourself

     It can be very easy to put yourself down even before you start to work towards your goals. When I first began writing, I compared myself to famous authors like Rupi Kaur, J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Ernest Hemingway, and many others, while telling myself that I would never be able to reach that type of success. For the times where you feel like you aren’t capable, you need to remind yourself that you can reach your potential if you push yourself and try to the best of your ability. Even if the goal you had in mind does not come, it does not mean you failed. Everything happens for a reason, and when you reach that wall, you have to find your own way around it and keep going. I was talking to one of my friends this week and she was telling me about this incredibly difficult course she was taking. She was miserable, and she mentioned something that stood out to me, “I am just stressed because it's the most failed course.” In these moments, when many around you are having the same issues you are, you can use it as a tip to persevere. Find others who are able to help, take extra time out of your routine to focus on what is difficult, and use positive thinking to move forward. Don't stop just because getting that A will take hard work and dedication, don't stop because you think you're not qualified, don't stop because you think your ambition is too far fetched. You're so much more than the negative doubts in your head and you need to look past them to be able to properly succeed. 

  4. 4. You Are Where You Are Meant to Be

    I definitely fault in this, where I am always planning years into the future and freak out the moment something does not go the way I expected. Our lives are meant to be unpredictable and unexpected. We cannot predict the future, so remember to take a breather and enjoy where you are at in life right now. When the time is right, you will get that job, will reach that goal, will meet that someone, and so much more. When something is meant to happen to you, it will find its own way to you. Maybe you are going through something that you cannot explain, but it will prepare you for what is to come. Make the best of your current situation, go with the flow, and think about how you can grow from it. Being in the present is truly what prepares you the best for the future.

The points that I want you to learn from this article are of acceptance. Providing yourself with the positivity in your life that you are seeking and committing yourself to your goals is an amazing way to ensure happiness and success in your endeavors. Life is difficult, it is volatile, unyielding, and for these reasons and more, you do not need to make it any harder by not realizing your potential worth and value. Remind yourself that, “you can do it,” and you will. You’ve got this.