I’ve always considered myself as someone who places a high value on the practice of self care. One thing I’ve learned over time is that ridding myself of toxic friendships has been vital in my personal growth and my well being in its entirety.
On more occasions than I can count, I’ve had to cut ties with individuals who did nothing but drag me down– and I know that I’m not alone in this. Recognizing the signs of toxic friendships is the first step in removing them from your life.
If you’re unsure whether a friendship is toxic or not, reflect on the following questions: Does this friendship feel one sided? Am I able to speak of my achievements and know that they’re genuinely happy for me? Does this person drain me emotionally, mentally, or physically? Do I dread being around this individual?
Many times, we tend to justify other people’s actions, even when its blatant that they’re flawed. For all the times I’ve given these people the benefit of the doubt, I can’t recall an instance where I ended up happy that I chose to do so. Though it is important to see the good in others, I feel that sometimes we’re giving far too much credit where it isn’t due.
There was a point in time where I chose to hold onto a toxic friendship simply because I had been friends with her for so long (and I hate confrontation!) When asked why I was still her friend, I’d come up with excuses for her own behavior. Looking back, I vividly remember all of the times she wasn’t a good friend, but I can’t seem to recall her ever lifting my spirits or reciprocating the effort I put into our friendship. I’ll never forget the time I was offered an incredible opportunity and the first thing I did was share my accomplishment with her. The response I got was incredibly lackluster and unenthusiastic. In fact, she quickly switched the subject and began talking about her own prospective job opportunities rather than showing me her support and being happy for me.
With that being said, I hope that if there ever comes a time where you’re faced with choosing between your happiness and a friendship filled with toxicity, you always choose your happiness above all else. On the other hand, if you’re the one who has had issues with being that friend, try to think of why you feel and act the way that you do, and what measures can be taken to improve whatever the underlying reason(s) might be.
And in the best way it’s ever been put, let go of the people who dull your shine, poison your spirit, and bring you drama.
Cancel your subscription to their issues.
lots of love,
Alex
- cover photo source here