I have the great privilege of sharing my birthday with International Women’s Day! I should feel celebrated and liberated, transitioning from Black History Month to my birthday month and a month that celebrates women, but that’s not my reality. As I’m writing this, it’s the night after my birthday.
This year, I turned 21 and decided to take myself on my first solo trip to Punta Cana, DR. When I told people this, many of them were shocked and concerned. Why would a young girl want to spend such a big birthday alone in a foreign country? There are many reasons, the main one being that I’m a typical 20-something with very few friends living in a city miles away from home. I would love to celebrate with people, but it’s hard when you can’t celebrate with the people who you love most.
I don’t like to use my birthday as a facility to people-please. Think about it: if you have dinner or a trip, you’re worrying about others showing up and enjoying themselves instead of just focusing on your own happiness. I’m not a selfish being, but your birthday should be about you. You should get the most out of your birthday and relish it. Celebrate your own life like you celebrate others’.
I love my birthday and I love the effort that I put into making my day special, but my reality is that I’m always disappointed on my birthday. I hype myself up every year just for it to be anti-climactic.
Full transparency, this birthday has been amazing. Being alone in a beautiful country has been refreshing, but I’d be lying if I said I was 100% pleased on my birthday. I went horseback riding, went to the spa, had a great dinner, and yet I let those who didn’t reach out or only half-heartedly reached out bother me. A small handful of people tampered with my mood.
I’m writing this to share the reality of how some people feel on or about their birthday. I’m vulnerable towards how people can make you feel even on the most special of days. Being in your 20s and in college or starting your career is challenging. It can be the loneliest period of your life, and your birthday is no exception. It’s okay to have FOMO, it’s okay to be disappointed, and it’s okay to not care. Celebrate alone or with a hundred people, but celebrate! Life is precious and a gift, even when it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. Whatever emotions you feel are valid; you are human.