I’m currently writing this article in my apartment with the Empire State view behind me, cozied up in my bed with a cold glass of water by my side, and my new Hatch alarm clock playing ‘heavy rain’ sleep sounds. It’s 10:34 pm on a Friday. Why am I not outside?
“I think my ‘unc’ days are upon me ”
I told my friend Stephanie last Saturday. We decided to have a fun night out in the town that Thursday, accompanied by my friend Nina, whom I met in class, and her friends as well. Steph and I got back home the next day at around 4 am, and by the time we actually went to bed, the sun was rising. When we finally woke up, we then proceeded to cancel any further plans of going out for the rest of the weekend.
“I just don’t have that dog in me anymore. I’m not the spring chicken I once was,” we laughed at the sentiment that we were getting ‘old’. Despite us coming back home really late after being out all day and night, it wasn’t like we hadn’t done that before. As a matter of fact, when we’re not at the function, we’re questioned on why that is. However, for some reason, there was a change of heart that happened last weekend.
Since moving to NYC a month ago from Chicago, a similar, fast-paced metropolis, I’ve found the adjustment period to be quite swifter. I thought I’d settle in slower, but I’ve since found a solid routine, a good crowd of company, and a proper footing on what my days should look like. I created a schedule that has a good balance between school and social life, and enough time for myself in between. With all this planned, what was left was to just do. Correct? Wrong.
Every day, we constantly change. We see something that offers a new look at things, or talk to people who give different perspectives on matters. We change our routine if it’s not convenient anymore, stop doing things we don’t like to do anymore, or overall, we have the liberty to make self-informed decisions that we feel will benefit ourselves more, regardless of the situation. I soon came to realize that this change is just growing up.
When it comes to growing up, we cannot see life through young, teenage eyes anymore. No amount of planning could replicate what the present became, and what the future will become. I now have newer responsibilities, such as cooking for myself, respecting my new roommate’s spaces, trying to find opportunities around the city, all on top of the other norms I knew came with the city (social life, networking, self-care, etc). I now have to be mindful about what I eat, who I talk to, and my surroundings. I can’t come back home in the early morning if I know I have a 9 am that day (sometimes, this is exceptional though. We’re 20, not 30 for crying out loud). Overall, I’m learning to think keenly about things as opposed to rushing to do them for the sake of doing them.
However, it’s not like fun goes to die when this ‘unc’ feeling starts to creep in. Like change, life is still happening, but always pivoting. I’ve found a newfound joy in smaller, intimate friend gatherings, such as making family dinners for each other over drinks and conversation, watching movies, or late-night city bike rides around the quiet city. It might not sound like fun, and I know it wouldn’t to my 18-year-old self, but that’s what makes me happy now. It gives me the same satisfaction as a greasy $1.50 pizza coming back from the club at 3 am.
Of course, I’m not calling myself old. After you turn 20, you’re not old. You’re not unc. Despite whatever your younger-by-a-year friends may tell you, it really isn’t the case. You become more prone to wanting different experiences for yourself, as the previous ones might feel like they’ve served their purpose overall. So, instead of feeling bad for yourself and acting like you’re 40 when you really just turned 21, embrace the newfound change, growth, and responsibilities your life will constantly bring you. It’s moments like these that make you reflect on everything you’ve done in life till this moment, and all you can really say is ‘wow’.