We’ve all been there; you’re dissassembling cis and heteronormativity ’till 6, getting gadded up for a night with The Squad at 7, and there’s this annoying not-quite-a-hole in your favourite jeans that’s just been preying on your mind for weeks now – how in the heck can you also take pride in being a womanly woman woman? (Or just an awesomely person personly person?)
Please do be aware, puns abound.
(Main Image Credit: Antrell Williams)
Way 1: Do that Thing Where you Feel Good about yourself because you’re Awesome AF
This is a Kia Pride, and I was not joking about the puns. (Credit: harry_nl)
At those wonderful people who identify as women and/or in a more feminine way; you’re awesome. You’ve stood up against an institutionally sexist society since day one, and more than merely surviving, you’ve thrived. Look at yourself, girl!
No-one is like you, nor could they ever hope to be. Your ideas, your mind and self, and your you is really quite special. This week is about celebrating what makes women awesome, and in short, the answer is that you do.
Women have always, in part, been about overcoming the odds; we’re the kind of people who look at a wave of Fascist fools (who managed the military peak of the hecking square and based their entire civilisation off of it, hence, read Rome,) and go:
“Huh. Hey um, pass me my chariot, would you? Yeah thanks. Brb.” (Chief Boudica, Queen Zenobia, and Queen Mavia)
We’re the people who worked out, holy crap, no, that’s poisonous, sweet heck get that out of your mouth, stop eating that, seriously, please, and the people who looked at other people very intensely when they went to eat more.
We worked out corn. Corn bread can happen because of us. I genuinely do not know what else to say, except that you are part of a social lineage that created Corn Bread.
Way 2: Do that Thing Where you Feel Good about Other People and Yourself because both they and you are Awesome AF
I left this one very difficult to put a visual wordplay to. That was punintentional.
At all those people who identify as anything or anyone outside the gender binary and that which is physically entrenched; you’re awesome. Women have been amazing providers of support and affection for communities that don’t get their voices heard, and while many of us sure as hell can’t pretend to understand those problems, we can lend, and have let, our voices to others’. Be it race, fortune, creed, religion, identity, affection, or whatever beatiful thing makes people wonderfully different, you can be proud that, where we could, we’ve supported those who wanted to be supported, and more than that, we continue to.
Sure as heck, we’re not proud of standing up for other people, holding them equally and loving them the same, – that’s just straight up the right thing to do – but there’s a valid pride in being part of a (largely) positive community like that.
So remember that you’re part of a radical group that’s an effective and positive force for change on the political and social map, and go out there and continue to make our community better. You, and they, deserve that.
Way 3: Take Yourself Out
Get it? A date? Ha. Haha. Hahahahaha. (Credit: xbeing)
I always find that it’s easy to forget what makes us so awesome; so remind yourself! Make a day of making yourself happy, and appreciate being in your own presence. Wear whatever makes you feel happy, eat whatever you like, and spend some quality time with the most important person in your life.
This is super important; you’re the main actor in your life, and the more content you are with and in yourself, the better you’ll find yourself acting, loving and living. Think about it like this; you’re the one common denominator of every interaction you have in your life, so the better you know yourself, the better you’ll do what you want to, how you want to. Weird as it sounds, spending a few moments in the mirror telling yourself how much you love how you look, how you are, or any part of yourself that you find joy in, is an act of radical rebellion.
Take it from a girl who isn’t always considered to be validly so; your being, no matter if that’s feminine, ungendered, masculine, still forming, happily unformed or whatever you bloody well like (you most definitely do you,) is something attacked daily from the outside world. Whenever you’re denied your own sense of self, or value, or ignored, that’s the product of a world that honestly doesn’t want you to succeed. And success, like it or not, isn’t all about spur-of-the-moment rebellions.
This is kind of like your preperation in a personal seige; this is repairing the barricades, building the towers, hiring people with Big Swords. Your success hinges as much on how big your eyes go when you see yourself (you look great, by the by,) how much you can find contentment in your own smile, how positive you can be by, to, and with yourself before having to deal with some vile shit, as it does dealing with that shit in the moment.
This definitely includes masturbation if you feel like it, and if you do engage with it, own it! Enjoy yourself and don’t be afraid to experiment with whatever catches your eye. You’re a person, full, independant and self-sensual (again, if you want to!) and no matter how you view your own sexual nature and inclination, if you want to enjoy the physicality of yourself then I’m sure we all condone and support you to do so, and in a space where you can be honest and unashamed with yourself. Toys, lube (personally, I’d recommend the Durex Play massage + lubricant with Ylang Ylang, though of course, other massage and lubricant oils are available,) clothes, collars, mirrors and cams, whatever makes you feel positive about yourself and your body, own that shit.
Way 4: Take the Ones you like Out!
I feel no shame, only puns. (Credit: PIR04D)
There’s a reason you like them, basically; they like you back. These might be the people who you drink obscene amounts of alcohol with, or obscene amounts of coffee, or consume obscene amounts of anime alongside, but they’re the people who make you smile.
We can’t always find the resources we need to support ourselves, and that’s more than okay; friends are not only supportive people we can rely on from time to time to help us, they’re also in and of themselves a celebration of yourself and them, too. They represent that you’re someone people want to engage with, while also being people who you want to engage with and support the same.
A big part of being a radical, terrifying, definitely-dangerous-yet-pacifist feminist like myself is knowing who you’re fighting for – and let’s be honest, – we’re fighting for everyone. We’re fighting for our friends, for the people we feel affection for, (and where it applies,) for our romantic, sexual, queer-platonic, familial and ‘Huh idk whatever you’re cool’ partners and people.
In addition, they are fun, they know exactly how you like to have fun, and also keeping in contact with them means better gifts when it’s your getting-gifts days.
Way 5: Go take part in the world!
Take part, y’know? No? OK. Well. I mean. It’s a pretty cake. (Credit: Amy Treasure)
My mother had this little thing called ‘window watching,’ which is what awkward middle-class people do when they don’t want to admit they can’t carry a conversation. I have yet to meet a middle-class awkward person who has not resorted, at some point in their life, to the phrase, “Oh, yes, I’m just window watching,” which inevitably drags whatever lovely chat you were having into a pit of silence, staring out windows, pretending to be comfortable and nodding sagely at people’s shins.
Go out. Window watch the heck out of shit.
Walk on the paths, both those allowed and those forbidden, those visible and invisible. Go hug a tree, kiss some grass, gaze up at the moon inebriated from tiredness or alcohol or over caffeination and wonder if it’s really made of cheese. Because that’s a lot of fucking cheese.
You make the world better by being in it, I promise you that. You bring insight and emotion no-one else will ever get to have or feel, and that’s pretty hecking awesome. Bring that awesomeness out, and no matter if you do that by p0wN1nG Sum n00bs on Overworld of Starcraft (a really weird minecraft clone that one,) or watching a movie with popcorn, or having a quiet latte and doing a wonderful impersonation of my mother, you will find yourself having a lot more fun if you engage with whatever’s going on around you.
You got this.
I know this is a really very gay, very non-binary article, but if you’re straight and cis, you’re hecking special, just like everyone else; go embrace the world through what is a really special set of eyes.
I mean yeah wear shades if it’s really sunny but still.
Be proud of your eyes. Do that thing.