1. You start off with the determination of a warhorse.
2. And brainstorm for about an hour.
Because, hey, this stuff takes time.
3. You’re feeling a little uninformed on the topic, so you do some heavy reading (light skimming) to get the 4-1-1.
“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body”, said…someone.
4. But then you see that old colonial wig from last Halloween and you’re like “I just gotta try it on for old times’ sake”
“Yoooo these curls are in mint condition!”
5. And then you’re suddenly consumed by hours of fun in your dress-up bin
Money jacket. Elvis wig. Stunner shades.
6. So then you call your homie over for some team procrastination because it’s infectious and should not be done alone.
7. You guys make some matching t-shirts, which of course takes a few hours.
8. And then you assemble a marching band of every person you’ve ever known just because procrastination.
Why not? It’s Wednesday.
9. But much to your dismay, you realize its time to press pause on the fun (tear) and get back to that paper, so you force yourself to write the intro.
Magnifique.
10. The overexertion has got you feelin’ tight. Now would probably be the best time to try that hour-long yoga video your mom sent you (thx, Mom).
11. All that exercise has your blood sugar low, low, low. The doctor would recommend a snack break-and who are we to challenge medicine?
12. Snack’s got you feeling READY so you hop back on the old saddle and dive in, ready to write a ~killa~ essay
For serious this time, guys. Don’t distract me.
13. But then you hear laughter and joy outside of your window, so you look just to feel alive again.
Spoiler alert: you don’t.
14. Somehow you haven’t looked at a clock all night and you’ve severely underestimated the amount of time you have, so you panic.
And panic some more.
And then you top it all off with just a little more panic.
15. But then your squad rolls through and is all “you can do it!”
*Gets lifted up in the air by squad*
16. So you put on your “TIME TO WRITE THAT ESSAY” Spotify playlist on and do work.
17. And then three mental breakdowns, six bowls of mac & cheese, and eighty-four Snapchats later, it’s done.
It’s terrible, but it’s done. And that’s all a sponge could ask for.
18. So you ride off on your seahorse like the BAMF that you are and call it a day
Job well done!
THE END