Halloween is around the corner and it’s time for all things spooky. But, it’s important to not ghost how you’re feeling, no matter the season. After years and years of relationship trial and error, I have learned that sometimes it may be easier to just hide from and ignore your true feelings than it is to confront what is really going on in your head. Although that may be true, I promise you this: if you are feeling some type of way, there may be a reason for it.
This is why I say to take that risk and not ghost how you are feeling, even if you are a ghost this Halloween. ;)
Four years ago, during my senior year of high school, I met this boy. He had blue eyes and brown hair; he was athletic, hilarious, and had an incredibly kind soul. I was in so deep; I was crazy about him.
Since we were both seniors, and we were both about to embark on the whole college thing, there was nothing that I wanted more than to just ignore and hide the feelings that I had for him and to go to college single. As all kids know, you’re raised to believe that college is a time about meeting new people, trying new things, making out with random strangers at parties, and all things crazy. Honestly, a relationship never seems to fit into that confined and structured definition of college.
So, I ghosted my feelings, like society told me to do.
But despite the ghosting, he kept showing up. We kept talking, we kept seeing each other. But more importantly, he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I even said no. He fought for me for months on end, and all I wanted to do was go to college alone because I thought I was supposed to. I was ghosting my feelings and even trying to ghost him.
After finally owning up to my feelings for him, I ended up asking him to come to my prom and he asked me to go to his. More memories and more laughs were shared as the year went on and the summer came and went. I knew it was going to be too hard to say goodbye, but I was doing it to myself: I was the only reason that we needed to say goodbye. Until he received his college acceptance letter, and it was for Fairfield, just like mine. He ended up having Fairfield as his top choice, just as I did, which made the whole college relationship thing a lot easier.
Fast forward to present day, and I am now a senior in college. I am in the most happy and most incredible point of my life, but most importantly, the most secure I have ever been about who I am and who I want to be. That boy I met at that bar in high school has been my boyfriend for three years. We have had our ups and downs, but I took a chance on him; I took a chance on my feelings. And not ghosting how I felt was a fantastic decision for myself, my feelings, and my relationship.
Now I may not be the all-knowing queen of relationships. But if I could tell you one thing, it is to stay true to who you are, what you’re feeling, and what matters to you. Trust your gut, as it is always right. But most importantly, don’t ghost your feelings. Because who knows, you may end up finding a partner that changes your life forever.