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THREE IS A CROWD: THE TRUTH ABOUT PROTECTIVE FRIENDS AND SIBLINGS

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Exeter chapter.

As we are all aware any new relationship in its early stages is particularly fragile. The smallest thing such as not replying to a text, or being fifteen minutes late to a date can be a deal breaker. Similarly, when things become more serious and you introduce them to your nearest and dearest, life can become pretty tricky-especially if the people you are introducing them to think of themselves as your relationship body guards! Keeping this in mind HCX thought we’d conduct a quick survey about the effects an over-zealous and protective sibling or friend has on a relationship.

Before we delve into the opinions of Exeter’s finest, we thought we would point out some of the standard negative viewpoints that are usually associated with overprotective friends and siblings. Without further ado:

  1. Having a protective sibling can make you feel three years old again which can be pretty embarrassing especially when you are perfectly capable of making your own decisions.
  2. Their attitude may cause confrontation in your relationship with your boyfriend and the people that think they are looking out for you- which is never good.
  3. A protective friend or sibling can make spending time with your boyfriend stressful as you may feel you have to constantly defend him against those who think he is not good enough for you. 

When conducting this survey, we thought the best place to start was with the EURFC lads of Exeter and boy were they eager to share their views! One keen player claimed that “as long as the friend or sibling was not stepping over the line” then it didn’t really faze him. What constitutes stepping over the line? Think Robert De Niro in Meet the Parents and you have hit the nail on the head.  However, it was not all sunshine and flowers from the boys, with one lad wittily pointing out “there should only be two in a relationship and three is most definitely a crowd”. With this in mind, HCX can deduce that as long as the protective sibling is only protective from the side lines then they should not have too much of an impact on your relationship.

Although, HCX understands that having a protective sibling or friend can be annoying at the best of times, you should try to see the positive side of the situation. One girl commented that “you should take it as a compliment” as although it may not seem like one, it is a “reminder that your friend cares about you and wants to see you happy.” Similarly, another HCX girl showed the importance of taking on the opinions of others arguing “an outsiders view is sometimes more objective which helps you make sensible decisions.”  Taking on the viewpoint that you should use a protective sibling to your advantage, one enthusiastic girl commented “that protective siblings are an EXCELLENT escape route out of a relationship” and “although it may be irritating, you will appreciate it afterwards.” With this in mind protective siblings or friends do not necessarily have to be a bad thing, offering you great advice at a time when you might not realise you expect it. As people say relationships may come and go but friendship is forever, so try to remember that next time you get annoyed about a friend or sibling thinking that they are a relationship bouncer!

Therefore, after scouring the chilly hills of Exeter in order to assess the effect protective siblings or friends can wreck on a newly formed relationship hopefully, we can now eradicate these misconceptions. It is definitely down to circumstance and an individual basis rather than a basic vague generalisation. If your relationship is worthwhile an over eager friend should not hopefully not impact this! Not all relationships should be doomed by an r enthusiastic ‘buddy’ or best friend, in fact we have discovered that sometimes this extra ‘push’ is actually beneficial!

For more opinions from our lads of Exeter, how about checking out what they have to say about the best way to dump a girl!

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