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Can You Be Friends With An Ex?

The word ‘ex’ is one that can give you shivers and stir up gossip, emotion and memories. A break-up can be horribly complicated, and the post-break up ritual becomes all the more difficult when others get involved. One of the main questions coming out of a relationship is, “can we still be friends?”. There are many who would say that being friends with your ex is perfectly achievable. Others would argue that it is just too difficult to sustain a friendship honestly and without emotional baggage (the word is overused but relevant here). How do you know when it’s right for you to meet up with an old flame again?

The risks when it comes to staying friends with an ex can be high. On some occasions, there will be unfinished feelings. Raw emotions, even after 6 months of separation, can rise to the surface causing unnecessary heartbreak. No one wants to see or experience a bust up in public – after all, tears just make mascara run and bring a fun night to an early end.

A second challenge comes with sexual tension. It cannot be denied (unless you were in a relationship that sex was never really a part of it to begin with) there was and still will be sexual chemistry with your ex. You should acknowledge that this attraction will still be there and should think twice before potentially jeopardising your confident singledom or a new relationship by meeting up for ‘drinks’ one night.


HCX have compiled a quick checklist to help you answer the question as to whether you can or are ready to be friends with your ex.

  • If you see an ex with someone else in a Facebook picture which results in a rant about how much you hate her, and how you’re clearly way hotter and swear to throw a drink in her face on a night out
  • If you get butterflies before going somewhere that you know he’ll be
  • If you were dumped –  and if it was a one-sided decision. (Anyone who got rid of you shouldn’t really command your time)
  • If you were the one that dumped them and know that they might have feelings for you
  • If you can’t face endings, from either angle. 

If you say ‘Yes’ to any of the above, steer clear for the moment to avoid any unnecessary upset. 

This article isn’t all gloom! Too end on a high note, HCX want to remind you of the positives of having independence. Being in a relationship can be fantastic, but it has to be the right one. All of us wish that we could live the life of Posh and Becks: looking perfect, living an international lifestyle with 4 gorgeous kids. But until we meet our prince or princess, if a break up happens trust your instincts. Every relationship is individual: if you ended on good terms and can handle a friendship, then give it a go. But remember to love being single, and when someone special comes along, who knows, maybe there won’t be another ex.

For more information about how to positively deal with a break- up, click here


Photo Credits: www.weheartit.com, www.keepcalmstudio.com

Second year student at Exeter studying International Relations with French. Whilst trying to procrastinate from my 9 hours a week, I play lacrosse and now do a bit of writing for HCX, going out with friends and love a good bit of sofa time at mine on Longbrook Street. Hoping when I grow up to have a career in journalism or international development as well as trying to visit as many countries as possible.
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