God, Alejandra. You’re such a white girl.
The first time someone said that to me, it took me a while to figure out how it made me feel. The person who said it no doubt was using a stereotype: I was being called a white girl because I engaged in a behavior or activity that deemed me “white.” But I couldn’t determine whether I felt so uncomfortable because I was being put in a box based on my behavior, or because I was being labeled as something that I do not identify as: white. So I laughed it off, but what ran through my mind was, “What?”
Only recently did I figure out the way I felt about it. I felt ashamed.
Why?
Because I’m Hispanic.
I have a Hispanic first and last name. My skin is caramel instead of cream. I grew up listening to my mother talk in Spanish to my grandmother, and when I became fluent I eagerly joined in the conversation. But whenever someone calls me a white girl, I have to wonder why. Why? Is it because I’m doing something or engaging in some kind of activity or behavior that detracts from my heritage? I don’t think that my use of social media or interest in certain brands make me something other than Hispanic. But if it’s not that I’m acting in a way that “stays true” to my ethnic identity, what is it?
Is it the juice cleanses? Is it the Starbucks? Is it the love of Lululemon yoga pants? Or is it the selfies, the Instagrams and the excessive use of emojis? Why do those things define someone as “white” or a “white girl”? I’m not ashamed to tell you that I LOVE my three-day Suja cleanses. I’m not ashamed to tell you that I LOVE a venti iced caramel coffee from Starbucks, and I’m not ashamed to tell you that I LOVE Lululemon yoga pants. So much, in fact, that I own multiple pairs (wunderunders are the BEST), and I would wear them instead of regular pants for the rest of my life if it were socially acceptable.
And after all of this, I am still Hispanic.
Why are the things I mentioned things that are labeled as what a “white girl” would enjoy? One of my very best friends is a white female, and she can’t stand coffee of any kind unless it’s so full of cream and sugar that it basically isn’t coffee anymore. She loves food too much to try a juice cleanse, and she doesn’t own a single pair of Lululemon yoga pants — or any Lululemon, for that matter. But at the end of the day, she’s white, and she’s female. And yet nobody goes out of their way to call her a white girl.
Why is this important? Here I am, talking to you about the way that I feel about something that might not even apply to you. But it should. And here’s why: At the end of the day, words matter, especially in our world today. Anybody who takes you seriously—whether it be a close friend, a classmate, or a family member—is going to believe what you have to say, whether it be in person, on social media, or through another medium. This is as dangerous as it is wonderful: while being able to share what you think with other people is definitely empowering, it has the potential to manipulate others into forgoing their beliefs and adopting yours instead, at times when it’s most important to hold on to one’s true beliefs. People started calling me a white girl in high school, a time in my life where I hadn’t yet become an independent thinker, and I took what they said incredibly seriously and became doubtful of who I was as a result.
Three years later, I’m a junior at a university that encourages independent thinking. I’ve learned that just because someone believes something about you doesn’t mean its true, or that you should believe it too. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want people to think that if they call me a white girl I’m going to get seriously offended or think they’re trying to really insult me. If you call me a white girl, I’ll probably laugh. But if I called you something that made you feel a little bit ashamed or made you feel like you were doing something wrong, how would you feel?
Think about it.