Ah, the Internet: cornucopia of social media, various Wikipedia articles, pseudo news, and the deep web. The dawn of the Digital Age has made everything- not to mention everyone- accessible at the click of a button. In terms of dating, it’s becoming more and more common to pursue a friendship or relationship online. Apps like Tinder certainly have some drawbacks, but here are some tips on how to make the most of it.
1. Don’t go into it expecting to meet the love of your life
It’s really exciting that you’re actively pursuing something, but not everyone is going to be looking for the same thing as you. Honesty is key from the very beginning, so make your intentions known.
2. Don’t become too invested in a serial dater
Yes, he or she may really like you. But if something long term is not on the table, plan to take it day by day. Don’t assume you can “change” someone; you’ll just wind up disappointed. That they don’t want a relationship is not a reflection on you at all, and someone else might want to pursue that with you!
3. If it gets serious, don’t be ashamed of your “How-we-met” story
Most people try online dating at some point or other, yet there’s still stigma about having a serious relationship with someone you meet on Tinder. I’ve swiped left on so many people whose profiles say something like “we’re going to have to lie about how we met”. Not everyone locks eyes with their soul mate across a crowded room, and being ashamed of how you met your partner does not bode well for the rest of the relationship.
4. Be comfortable with your quirks
Online dating is weird. All dating is weird. Don’t change yourself into something else just to please the person you’re talking to. There will be someone someday that celebrates everything weird about you, and who doesn’t care whether you did or didn’t take part in hookup culture in college.
5. Put away the phone
Whether you’re actually preparing for a date or on the date, don’t obsessively try to learn more about the person you’re seeing. It’s not a job interview; you don’t need to know about the person beforehand. Plus, if you put your phone down once in a while, you might meet someone cool without Tinder.
6. Date yourself
If you spend all your time floating from one relationship or sexual encounter to the next, you’re going to miss out on really getting to know yourself and your preferences. Everyone is lonely sometimes, but it’s that loneliness that allows us to eventually appreciate being with another person in a fulfilling way.
Happy swiping!