Growing up, especially as a woman, comes with changes across all three categories of your being- mind, body, and soul. Since the start of my transition into womanhood, I’ve found that growing into your body can sometimes be the hardest change to go through. Not only are there internal conflicts that come with this, but external ones too. Media of all kinds often reflect what’s portrayed as “ideal” body shapes and features. No matter how deeply we as women, myself included, might understand that those reflections are false and unrealistic, those portrayals can still harm our outlooks on ourselves. To combat some of these negative feelings, I took it upon myself to put the things I love the most onto my body, permanently. My tattoos have renewed my confidence and body positivity, and have acted as a guiding light for me during this period of change.
I currently have four tattoos, and I hope many more are soon to come. My tattoos work together to make me a scrapbook of the things I love and hold near and dear to my heart. Not all tattoos need to have meaning, of course, but you’ll find that mine have plenty. Here are each of my tattoos, and the ways in which they’ve helped me find a new love within myself.
Semi Colon/Butterfly
My first tattoo, which I got a mere week after I turned eighteen, is a single-line drawing of a butterfly. A semi-colon, which stands for mental health awareness, suicide prevention, and survival, is the body of my butterfly. I decided to get this tattooed behind my ear because it represents parts of my past being both literally and figuratively behind me. I especially love the placement of this design, because I get to decide when I want it to be seen by choosing to wear my hair up or down. It symbolizes taking back my life and healing on my own terms. Getting this tattoo was the start of my journey of changing the way I think about myself, my life experiences, and my future.
Virgo Symbol
Getting my second tattoo was a spontaneous decision. Many tattoo shops will do Friday the 13th specials, and I definitely took advantage of the sale. Even still, I made sure that I was intentional with the placement and design. I landed on the astrological glyph of my zodiac sign, virgo. This ink rests on my inner right wrist, where it moves with my skin as I turn my hand. My virgo tattoo is a reminder that I am part of something larger than me, even if that means simply existing as a virgo in a sea of others born in August and September. It’s also an ode to myself, and to all of the beautiful aspects that make me the person I am.
“I know it’s for the better”
My favorite musical artist is Phoebe Bridgers. From the moment I discovered her music, it felt like all of the thoughts I was having finally made sense. One song in particular that guided me over the years was “Waiting Room”. Phoebe sings the line, “Plus, I know whatever happens to me, I know it’s for the better.” She then repeats, “know it’s for the better” for the later half of the song. I wholeheartedly agree with these lyrics; sometimes life is out of my control, but I have faith that whatever is meant to happen, will happen. I got this lyric tattooed on the inner side of my left arm as a reminder that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. This tattoo has physically helped me appreciate my body, because it is often one of the first places my eyes go when I’m standing in the mirror. It has also helped me, on a more internal level, remember that I am capable of handling the experiences life throws at me. In the end, I do know it’s for the better.
“Be a little kinder than you have to.”
The most recent tattoo I have gotten sits on my right hip. The placement of this tattoo has solidified my newly found confidence in an ever changing body. It reads, “Be a little kinder than you have to”, a quote from one of my favorite books of all time: “We Were Liars” by E. Lockhart. I found this book when I was still in my early high school years. It renewed my love for reading, and through that I was able to come to the decision to major in writing in college. The quote itself grounds me and reminds me that everybody deserves someone who will go the extra mile to see them smile. I aspire to live up to this quote day in and day out no matter what it takes. Reading “We Were Liars” was one of the best decisions I’ve made. This tattoo shows me that you never know just how impactful one choice can be.
I can’t wait to get more tattoos in honor of things I love. I want to keep becoming a scrapbook of positivity and light. All of my tattoos have shown me that self-love and self-care are so important, and I can’t wait to see how they continue to resonate with me as I grow older.