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Mental Health

How To Be Comfortable With Being The Quiet Friend

You always hope that you are the most exciting, most needed friend in the group or just in general. It is hard when the Internet is constantly spoon feeding us images of the perfect best friend duos and groups that are completely inseparable from each other. Especially during the pandemic, it has been hard to maintain friendships and distinguish our worth (not to be too dramatic). 

As one of the quieter friends, I know that it was hard at first to reach out and realize my importance as a friend. I was never the one cracking jokes, getting into trouble, or breaking down. Before going to college, I didn’t know if I would ever find people that would understand that about me. For a lot of people, it is hard to open up. Despite the pressure to constantly perform as a friend that may come from the Internet or other people in your “squad,” you still have a very important role, quiet friend. 

As the quiet friend, you are able to assess any situation more effectively than some of your more outgoing group members. If something is going to go wrong, you are most likely the one to know. 

If someone in the group needs a “no drama llama” to come to for advice or just to listen, you are probably the one they’ll go to. It might not happen all the time, but since you’re the quiet one, you’re most likely to keep a secret, and we admire that about you.

You’re also the most exciting person when you do come out of your shell. You don’t need to assume an extroverted personality all the time, but when you do, everyone adores you so much more for it. People like to know that you are comfortable enough to open up in front of them.

Most importantly, you are the chill friend. You bring the balance. Without you, things would most likely get really out of hand. This doesn’t mean you’re the stereotypical mom friend (maybe you are, but that can be exclusive from being chill); this means when you aren’t there, it is harder for some of those aggressive personalities to ever come back to Earth. You are the standard honey, so be confident in it.

Whatever type of friend you are, you have a place. Even when it is hard to reach out and communicate, there will be someone there that fits perfectly. Luckily, as the quiet friend, you’re needed in a lot more situations than can be expected. Hold your head high and own it!


Anna Donohue

Emerson '24

Anna is a current freshman VMA major at Emerson College.
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