Cutting off toxic people is never easy. There are just so many aspects to it, figuring out how harsh of a cut you want, how to navigate the friend group now that you don’t want to be around that one person, the list goes on and on. One of the aspects that I feel like isn’t talked about enough is the guilt that comes along with cutting someone off. On one hand, you’re proud of yourself for getting the toxicity out of your life. On the other, you feel bad for being the person who draws the line, the person who won’t “work it out”.
Something to remember when going through this process is that you are doing this for a reason. It could be that the toxic friend has screwed you over so many times that you just aren’t going to let it happen anymore. It could be that the friend never has anything positive to say about anything you do and it hurts your self-confidence. For whatever reason, remember that whatever you are feeling is valid. No one can tell you that you are feeling the wrong feelings. No one can tell you that they didn’t hurt you.
No one can tell you that they didn’t hurt you.
If you need some help figuring out whether you are in a toxic relationship, here are some pointers:
Toxic friends are manipulators. If you find yourself constantly doing whatever they want you to do, especially when you have voiced to them that you don’t want to do it, they are manipulating you. Any friend that doesn’t respect your opinion or cares if you are uncomfortable is not someone that will bring positive things into your life.
Toxic friends will hardly follow through with promises. If your friend promises to get you some nuggets on the side of her cookout tray and forgets, that’s just a mistake. If your friend promises that she will help you out with some project and backs out last minute time after time, drop them. Constantly screwing you over is not something that good friends do.
Toxic friends will make themselves into the victim no matter what. When you finally stand up for yourself and tell them what has been bothering you, one of two things will happen. They will explain in great detail how it’s not their fault, but it will either be 1- completely your fault or 2- outside factors that they “have no control over”. They make you second guess if you are overreacting or not. Let me say it again:
NO ONE CAN TELL YOU THAT THEY DIDN’T HURT YOU.
Make sure you are only allowing good, positive, uplifting people into your lives, ladies. You deserve that.