This week HC Durham caught up with Emily, who has spent the past year in Oxford, Mississippi as an exchange student. As someone who has been acquainted with this girl for the past decade, I can verify that she really has had the time of her life. Her year abroad has been a whirlwind of events for everyone involved, personal highlights including the stories spanning several scrolls on Facebook messenger and the material we have collectively gained which will be used to slate her during group sessions of Never Have I Ever. We asked Em what her year abroad has really taught her, irrespective of her maths degree…
Hello Emily! Tell us, why did you choose America for your year abroad?
I was feeling pretty bored with UK living. I wanted to get off the school-university-work path and do something different. But with my language skills only extending to English, my options were limited. I’d been to America on holiday a few times before and knew it was somewhere I wanted to explore more, so I seized the opportunity coz YOLO.
And why Oxford, Mississippi specifically?! Isn’t it like in the middle of nowhere?!
That’s a question I’ve been asked repeatedly since I’ve been here. How did you end up in the state that boasts the accolades of highest unemployment rate, highest poverty rate and lowest life expectancy?! I wanted to experience the renowned southern hospitality, college football and frat parties. I can confirm that every stereotype from all the American college movies are, in fact, 100% accurate. It’s become my second home and it will forever have a place in my heart.
What’s been the biggest change for you?
I thought I was going to go on my year abroad, enjoy a bit of sunshine and get some good pics for Insta… I was completely oblivious to how much it was going to change my life.
The past year has put everything in perspective for me, my political views, social views and just my overall attitude towards life. I used to live life on the straight and narrow but the people I’ve met and the places I’ve seen have changed my values and perspective on everything. I’ve definitely realised that my life needed shaking up a bit and I’ve learned so much along the way. One Americanism that I’ll be taking home with me is that after a year of driving miles around the US I now consider a 3-hour car journey to be ‘just around the corner’.
How are US universities different to UK universities?
It’s like being back in school with most of my classes taking place in classrooms rather than lecture theatres. We get regular homework and midterm exams, then a week of finals at the end of the semester. It’s a lot more relaxed here – one of my professors was happy to let me take a test early so that I could skip class and go to Nashville for an extended weekend. Can you imagine asking your lecturer if you could change your exam date so that you could go on holiday?! My mother constantly complains about how little maths I’ve done this year and, yes, there is some truth in that, but since being here I’ve learnt that life isn’t all about exams.
Socially it’s very different to home as well. Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays are the nights to hit the town, but the bars close at the ridiculous time of 1am on Thursdays and Fridays and midnight on a Saturday (Mississippi law states that you can’t sell alcohol on a Sunday). So when the bars close we head to the pool for a late-night swim. Weekends in the fall semester are spent tailgating in the grove before heading to the on-campus football stadium with 65,999 of your closest friends to cheer on the Ole Miss Rebels. Once football season ends and spring semester starts, it’s all about spring parties that are hosted by the fraternities. Girls dress up in literally anything and their outfit isn’t complete until they’ve poured a pot of glitter over themselves. Frat parties are a lot of fun despite being incredibly sexist. I could go on a rant, but I won’t.
What’s been the best thing about your year abroad?
Without a doubt the people I’ve met. I’ve been incredibly lucky and made some friends for life. A lot of my friends are other exchange students so I’ve literally met people spanning the globe. As a group when you’re asked the age-old question, “where are you from?”, you have to answer as representatives of eight different countries across four continents. We usually simplify the answer to ‘the world’. I didn’t realise until I got here how European I was and how we are so culturally different to Americans, especially here in the south. From the way we dress to our openness and way of life.
I stand out so much here – and the accent doesn’t exactly help me blend in. If I had a dollar for every time I’d been complimented on my accent I might have actually made a profit on this year abroad! A guy once bought me cookies after I read a poem to him in the street at 2am – just because he liked my accent that much. I find it funny how interested people are in me and where I’m from. I made it onto the Ole Miss news channel after someone interviewed me about Brexit, I’ve given a speech at an African-American church about what it’s like in England. My favourite question was one that only an American could ask: “if you drive on the left, and your steering wheel is on the right, how do you go through a drive through?”
What’s been the worst part?
The few days that I ran out of Yorkshire tea bags before my mum shipped some over were pretty challenging, but I got through it. On a serious note though, I’ve missed family events and friends’ birthdays, and even though I’ve been too busy to be home sick, the hardest thing is the time difference. I get home from classes and want to speak to family and friends, but by then they’re all asleep. Having said that I wouldn’t hesitate to give all that up again to relive this year (sorry guys).
What piece of advice would you give to someone who wants to do a year abroad?
Go. Say yes to everything. And don’t worry when you think you’ve made the biggest, most expensive mistake of your life on the first day. You haven’t. I arrived late on a Saturday night, my roommate let me in and I went straight to bed. When I woke up jet-lagged early Sunday morning I had no phone, no internet, the TV didn’t work, no food, no water (I didn’t even know whether Mississippi tap water was safe to drink), I didn’t have any keys so I couldn’t leave the house and my roommates were nowhere to be seen. I wondered why I ever thought it was a good idea to pack my bags, leave my comfort zone and move to a place as random as Mississippi. But it turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
What’s been your favourite memory?
It’s impossible to pick just one from a list that includes football games, late night hot tub sessions (Sarah: steamy lol), afternoons lounging by the pool, hilarious nights on the square, road tripping through Texas, spring break in Florida, Christmastime in New York and many, many more. But one weekend that stands out above the rest is the weekend that my roommate took me home to White Oak (read: the middle of nowhere). I got very lucky with my roommates, and with one being from New York and the other from Mississippi, the three of us could not be from more different backgrounds. It’s worked out so well and we’ve taught each other a lot. Something I’ve learnt is that Oxford isn’t the ‘real’ Mississippi – where students drive around in their brand new Audi Q7 that Daddy just bought them.
I wanted to experience small town Mississippi, so we drove 3 hours south to my roommate’s hometown, and she gave me a tour and introduced me to life in the country. Her family were incredibly welcoming and I quickly became aware as to why the south is so famous for its hospitality. We spent the weekend eating amazing food, riding round her land on quad bikes and fishing in the pond at her grandparent’s house. I got to experience a Southern Baptist church service and I met so many of her school friends and neighbours. Travelling and being a tourist is great but I couldn’t have had an experience like this any other way. I’m not sure that I could live somewhere that phone signal is so hard to come by, and you have to drive 30 minutes to the nearest supermarket, but I do think that country life is so peaceful and it must be incredibly comforting to live in a community where you know your neighbours would do anything for you. My roommate and I have spent many an evening discussing the differences between our lives and where we come from. In Mississippi, it’s normal to get married young, start a family and to live in the same small town all your life. The presence of guns has taken some getting used to, and racism is still much more of and issue than I was anticipating. I’m so grateful to my roommate for showing me this other way of life and I can’t wait for her to come to England in the summer so I can return the favour and show her where I grew up.
As my year abroad comes to a close and I start to reflect, it has surpassed every expectation I ever had. I’ve learnt so much and I’m a wiser and better person for it. It has truly been the best year of my life.
*life so far, Em. We’ve got a summer in the north west to get through before you start making bold claims like that. Thanks so much for your time Emily, and enjoy your final two weeks at Ole Miss!