Here we are, participating in some of the most formative years we will ever experience in life. As with any period of growth there will be pains and uncomfortable moments where we wish endlessly to be settled at last. There will be heartbreak, there will be homesickness and there will be copious moments of questioning. There will be baby steps, and sudden, immense and terrifying leaps of faith.
You are about to take that leap.
Society often talks about the importance of role models, guidance and a hand to hold through the scarier parts of your adventure. I hope this article can serve as a testament in the success of my own leap, and lend a hand in times when the anxiety of a new journey outweighs the excitement.
My jump was a year and a half ago when I moved across the country, away from everyone I knew, to attain the education I knew I deserved. There are few things scarier than essentially severing yourself from the reality you’re most accustomed to, and I found my first year at school to be one composed of both successes and failures. However, these ups and downs have allowed me to write this piece honestly, and full of heart, and for that I am grateful.
Do not take on the burden of change for anyone but yourself. Whether it’s a move, a switch in careers or any other immense life altering event, do not allow yourself to be pushed to your limits for the benefit of someone else. If you do not feel that the choice to switch things up was entirely in your hands, then there’s an infinitely bigger chance that you may come to resent the leap you’ve made. That makes for a nasty transition period, where you will find more stress and pain than growth. In my case, I knew that the vast majority of my high school class would attend our state university. It’s the safe route, one that nearly guarantees success and comfort. I wondered, though, how much more of myself I would find in an environment where I already had an identity. Would I continue to build the character I had created throughout high school, or would I take the leap now and see who I could be in a different space?
When you make a big change you cannot expect things to be as they always were. When you consciously remove yourself from a status quo you change the system almost immediately. You will find that relationships will metamorphosize as the people you were close with grow in new and uncertain ways. This will be scary, but it is not the end of the world.
What will create an issue is a lack of growth from you. Do not sit idly by while those around you develop themselves. This can be an easy trap to fall into. If you choose to cling to comfort, in an uncomfortable time, you will trap yourself in a corner and be left watching others live their lives.
Be vulnerable in making new relationships. Do not form an iron routine in sitting on the same couch every night. Make a place for yourself, and establish your presence in your new location. When I went to college I knew nobody. It was mortifying. However, I forced myself, for months, to try new things in new places with new people. Slowly, but surely, I created a positive environment for myself. It will take so much work. It’s exhausting being the new girl, and there will be slip ups.
See, we’re just now entering our twenties. There are so many lessons left to learn; it’s important to dye all your laundry pink on accident and forget to set an alarm every once and awhile. It’s important to learn how to eat a meal alone.
Change is hard. I made it through the awkwardness of transition and built success for myself. You, too, are capable of it. Take this leap so you can screw up the laundry. Do it so you can learn to find comfort in the most painfully frustrating circumstances. Use your newfound freedom to develop the person you want to be.