There was a time when happiness was about living in the moment, not capturing it. But now, before we even take a bite of a beautifully plated dish, we adjust the angles, fix the lighting, and take multiple shots to get the perfect one. Why? Because in a world where social media validation holds so much power, our focus has shifted from experiencing life to curating it.
I won’t pretend I’m above this. I’ve spent way too much time editing pictures, making sure they match my feed, only to realize later that I barely lived the moment itself. And honestly, it makes me wonder, are we doing things because they make us happy, or because they look good online?
The Pressure to Look Perfect
We’ve all seen those carefully curated Instagram feeds- neutral tones, aesthetically pleasing café shots, effortless “candids” that are anything but, and vacations that seem straight out of a travel magazine. It’s visually stunning, yes, but it’s also exhausting.
Everything now has an aesthetic standard. A simple cup of coffee isn’t just coffee anymore, it needs to be in a ceramic mug with perfect latte art, placed on a rustic table with soft lighting. Outfits aren’t just about comfort, they need to fit the latest trend cycle. Even skincare shelves are expected to look minimal and elegant as if a regular mix of mismatched products is unacceptable.
The pressure to keep up with this standard is subtle yet overwhelming. It’s no longer just about sharing moments, it’s about proving something, proving that we have our lives together, that we are effortlessly stylish, and that our happiness is worthy of being admired. But does looking happy online actually mean we feel happy in real life?
The Cost of Aesthetic Perfection
When we start living for aesthetics, we risk losing the real, unfiltered joy of life. We get so caught up in creating picture-perfect moments that we forget to fully experience them.
I remember a trip where I was so focused on getting the perfect sunset picture that I barely took in the view with my own eyes. The colours in the sky were breathtaking, but I spent more time adjusting my camera settings than actually watching the sunset. And later, when I looked at the pictures, they felt empty, because I had missed out on the real magic of that moment.
And it’s not just about photos. It affects how we perceive ourselves too. Social media has created unrealistic standards for beauty, lifestyle, and success, making it feel like we are constantly falling behind. We spend hours choosing filters, editing our pictures, and making sure our lives appear flawless, but at what cost? Our self-worth should not be measured by how visually appealing our social media presence is.
Are We Still Living for Ourselves?
One of the biggest downsides of aesthetic pressure is that it makes us forget what we truly enjoy. Do we love the clean, minimalist look, or is it just popular online? Are we reading books because we love them, or because they add to our “dark academia” aesthetic? Are we working out for our health, or just to get a post-worthy gym selfie?
I’ve caught myself falling into this trap too, liking things simply because they looked good in pictures. And when I realized it, it hit me hard. How many of our choices are genuinely ours, and how many are shaped by what will get us the most likes?
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with appreciating aesthetics. It’s okay to enjoy taking pictures, curating a nice feed, and sharing beautiful moments. But it becomes a problem when it starts controlling us when it makes us feel like we aren’t enough unless our lives look perfect.
How Social Media Trends Shape Industries
1. The “Instagrammable” Travel Culture
Travel isn’t just about experiencing a place anymore, it’s about how it photographs. Destinations that were once hidden gems are now flooded with tourists, not because they offer a life-changing experience, but because they look good on Instagram. Think of Santorini, Bali, or Cappadocia, of course, they’re beautiful, but social media has turned them into a checklist rather than a personal choice. People book trips based on how photogenic a location is, often prioritizing viral spots over genuine cultural experiences. It’s not uncommon to see tourists rushing through historic sites, barely paying attention to their significance, just to get the perfect picture.
2. Food That’s Made for the Camera, Not the Taste Buds
Restaurants are designing menus not just for flavor, but for visual appeal. Glitter-covered coffees, rainbow bagels, over-the-top milkshakes stacked with donuts and candies, are they even meant to taste good, or just to go viral? The rise of “Instagrammable” food has made presentation more important than actual quality. Many cafés now thrive solely because their dishes are photogenic, even if they lack real substance. And the saddest part? Sometimes, the most delicious food—the kind that is messy, imperfect, and truly satisfying, never makes it to the feed because it doesn’t fit the aesthetic.
3. Fashion Trends That Aren’t Meant to Last
Micro-trends are killing personal style. The “clean girl aesthetic,” “cottagecore,” “dark academia”, new aesthetics pop up every few months, convincing people they need an entirely new wardrobe just to stay relevant. Clothes are no longer bought for comfort or longevity, they’re bought for a temporary online persona. This is why fast fashion brands thrive, churning out cheaply made clothes that will be discarded as soon as the next trend takes over. And in the process, we lose a sense of personal identity, dressing for likes rather than for ourselves.
Breaking Free from the Aesthetic Trap
So how do we stop living for social media and start living for ourselves?
- Be present – Before reaching for the camera, take a moment to enjoy the experience. Live it first, capture it second.
- Post for yourself, not for validation – If you love something, share it. But don’t let likes and comments decide its worth.
- Embrace the unfiltered moments – Life isn’t always polished, and that’s what makes it real. Some of the best memories are the ones that aren’t picture-perfect.
- Ask yourself, “Do I actually like this?” – Before following a trend, pause and see if it truly makes you happy or if it’s just for the sake of appearances.
- Detach from the comparison cycle – What we see online is just a highlight reel. No one’s life is as flawless as their Instagram feed makes it seem.
The Psychological Toll of Aesthetic Curation
Somewhere along the way, living stopped being about what we feel and started being about how it looks. A late-night drive doesn’t count unless there’s a blurry aesthetic shot for the stories, a café visit feels incomplete without the perfect top-down coffee picture, and even a sunset, something as simple as watching the sky change colors, has become a moment we experience through our phone screens first. It’s exhausting.
Even when we know social media isn’t real, it still gets to us. The perfectly curated feeds, the flawless outfits, the way some people always seem to be in the right places at the right time, it’s enough to make anyone feel like they’re falling behind. That’s the real danger. The more we chase aesthetic perfection, the more we attach our self-worth to something external, something fleeting. We stop asking ourselves, Did I enjoy this? and start wondering, Does this look good enough to post?
Perfectionism and Social Media’s Impact on Mental Health – This article from Penn Medicine discusses how social media fuels perfectionism, leading to anxiety, depression, and self-doubt.
Choosing Presence Over Perfection
I won’t lie, I used to be the person who had to take a picture before eating, who would fix her hair five times before clicking a selfie, who thought, If I don’t post it, did it even happen? But then, one evening, I was sitting on my terrace watching the sky turn a ridiculous shade of pink, and for the first time in forever, I didn’t reach for my phone. I just sat there. And it felt… peaceful. Like the moment belonged only to me.
That’s when it hit me, some things don’t need to be captured, they just need to be felt. The warmth of the sun on your skin, the way your favorite song sounds on a long drive, the way laughter fills a room when you’re with the right people, none of that needs a filter. Some moments are meant to exist only in memory, and that doesn’t make them any less real. In fact, maybe it makes them even more special.