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Why do I still long for you?

I was deafened by our past

The red flags began as valentine’s day hearts

The envy was tinted with sincerity

You slowly tore me apart

//

“You should’ve known” rings back and forth

through my mind, but how could I?

Poisoned with charm and years-old photographs

Colored pink with nostalgia

The lie that you and me would last

//

I didn’t get the last word

I thought it’d come in decades

I thought I still had time

You stare at me, seething, angry

Like you were never mine

//

Something won’t let me move on

Your presence is a killer

I need a reason, but I think it’s too late

This was over years ago, 

You just left me drowning in your wake

//

My life goes on, not quite as planned

I guess I can say I’m better off

My back will forget your cold knife

I’ll grow up, and maybe so will you

You’ll learn that maybe you weren’t right

//

I’ll miss our sunsets, I’ll tell them that we almost made it

Our pictures won’t fade away like our memories

I’ll miss your smile before you hated me

Some things don’t last forever

I just didn’t think you’d leave

//

Why do I still long for you?

When I fear you never loved me

But even true love falls apart

I can’t force myself to forget 

Because every word of yours shaped my heart

Julia Spina is a sophomore double majoring in Psychology and Sociology at the University of Delaware. She is interested in studying mental illness and aspires to become a clinical psychologist. She enjoys singing, listening to Taylor Swift and emo music, photography, astrology, and skateboarding in her free time.
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