Growing up, being with your best friends 24/7 seemed like the dream. Playing outside, never wanting sleepovers to end, hiding when their parents would come to collect them from your house. Everything was bliss.
But people grow up and when people grow up, they become different people, their attitude is different, their views and opinions are different to yours. This isn’t a necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it’s fun to debate with friends and get more educated on their views. However, when a friendship starts to turn toxic, you need to look out for number one.
Boundaries and why they’re okay:
It’s something that’s difficult for a lot of people to do, but there is nothing wrong with taking a step back from a relationship with a friend. It may be scary at first but if they’re really your friend they’ll understand.
That saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ isn’t a saying just for the laughs, it’s serious. If there has been banter that has touched a nerve, say it to your friend. Communication is key to any successful relationship. Hash out your differences with your friend, if they’re continuing to disagree or continuing to do what irked you in the first place, propose you take a break from one another. It may seem harsh but it’s better than pretending everything is okay on your end when it’s not.
Some mates believe what is yours is theirs. wrong. If your friend starts living on your couch, forgetting to pay you back or starts eyeing up your man/gal, it’s time to have a chat. There are some lines a friend shouldn’t cross. If your friend is toeing that line, have words before they do something that neither of you can come back from.
How to spot a toxic friendship:
This can be difficult, maybe only other people can see how toxic the friendship is, or maybe it’s the most obvious thing in the world and you’re both just ignoring it for the sake of the friendship. Been there, done that, don’t want to ever go back.
Real friends support each other, build each other up and are there for each other as much as they can be in times of need. Sometimes there is other circumstances that can cause a friend to be absent but there’s no excuse to not communicate with one another. If you find yourself in a relationship where you’re constantly on edge around a person, worried how they may react when you say something, feel like they don’t truly support you or ever feel happy for you, then unfortunately, your relationship with them isn’t healthy.
We all deserve to have people in our lives who support us and cherish us, if you’re not happy, they’re most likely not happy either, and maybe it’s time to let go. There’s always more possible friends out there, you just got to get looking!