This piece will talk about workouts, food, body checking, body dysmorphia, eating disorders and mental health issues. Please only read if you are comfortable with these topics. If you are struggling, please feel free to reach out using the resources here:
Many people, myself included, are stuck up on the beauty standards of today. We see these models who have curves, flat stomachs, bums and no visible ‘imperfections’. They body check, post workout videos and pictures of their food. We are conditioned by the media to think that these body types are perfect, they are fit and healthy and thin. But there is one thing we all have to remember, no one is exactly like these people.
Let’s take myself for context. I am not what society would call ‘thin’. I have a belly, a big chest, and big thighs. God forbid you see someone like me walking the runway at New York Fashion Week. I constantly compare myself to the people I see on magazine covers and Instagram models. But in my heart of hearts, I know I’m healthy.
I haven’t skipped a meal in a long time, I eat when I’m hungry. I make sure to take time for some exercise, not just for my mind but for my body. I’m lucky my intrusive thoughts have stayed at bay, but there are some days when all I wish for is to be thin.
When I was younger, I thought that if I was thin the boy I liked would ask me out. I made myself thin, and he still didn’t ask me out. That hurt me. I looked in the mirror and would cry for hours, picking out everything I needed to work on, so he’d like me.
I was not by any means big; I was perfectly healthy before the thoughts came on. I saw how successful and happy these models looked on Instagram, the praise they’d get in their comments, the way the girls in my class would wish to look like them and how the boys would want to be with them. They would eat no carbs, just fruit and veggies, maybe a nut every now and then. So that’s what I did.
Looking back on it now, I was developing an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise and it’s still something I think about sometimes. I sometimes find myself looking at the calories on the box and rushing to work off dessert. But I know I do not need to be thin to be healthy. I need to eat food that makes me happy, exercise not just for my body but for my mind. I need to eat the chocolate on my break and go out for lunch on a Friday. I can go for a nice walk with my aunt or a run with my friend. I can sit on my bum and do nothing for all I care as long as I am comfortable in my body.
Society is pushing unrealistic beauty standards onto young people and it’s honestly disgusting. I have no other words for it. We need to push for realistic role models, better education in schools about the difference between being healthy and just down right starving yourself and overworking your body.
You deserve to eat, you need to. You deserve that chocolate bar, that pizza, that bowl of ice cream and those biscuits. Because you deserve to feel happy, healthy and confident in your body. You deserve it and you are worthy of it.
We are human beings, we aren’t flawless. We deserve to feel happy and eat what we want. We can be any size and healthy. Being thin does not exclusively marry with being healthy. So please, eat that biscuit. I’ll put the kettle on, and I’ll have one with you.