So you’ve submitted your classes to Webtree, or, if you’re an incoming member of the Class of 2019, you’re frantically constructing an algorithm that will ensure you the schedule of a lifetime. Unfortunately, life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. But who needs pesky classes to fufill requirements when Davidson College offers what some have called the closest curriculum to Hogwarts known to muggles? As I like to say, when life hands you butter, make butterbeer! Here’s a quick guide to constructing a class schedule that will ensure you a world-class wizarding education.
Defense Against the Dark Arts: Duels, Death, and Desire
Looking to satisfy your English requirement, read some decent literature, and learn how to battle evil creatures and/or your peers? Look no further than the Russian Studies Department’s Duels, Death, and Desire, offered Tuesdays and Thursdays from 1:40 to 2:55. Hopefully Professor Ewington can stick around for more than a year.
Potions: Principles of Chemistry
Potions was Harry’s least favorite class, and now it can be yours too! You may not be able to learn how to bottle fame, brew glory, or put a stopper to death, but you can learn other fun stuff like what makes up an element and how make stuff explode. Also, Professor Blauch probably doesn’t hate you due to a deep and dark past with your parents, so you’re set!
Transfiguration: Medical Anthropology
Okay, this one is trickier to translate into a muggle education. No, Professor Cho cannot turn into a cat (as far as we know), nor can she teach you how to turn rats into cups, but she can give you the basics on how to turn a sick person into a healthy one! Bet Ron would have appreciated this after the ‘Eat Slugs’ incident.
Charms: Elementary Latin I
As many an HP enthusiast know, lots of spells have Latin roots. Here is your opportunity to learn the language of magic! If you keep saying things in Latin, something incredible and magical might happen. You also might just learn Latin, but either way you’re better off than when you started! Wand not included.
History of Magic: England to 1688
In the world of our man HP, magic wasn’t nothing until it hit England. Until book four, basically every wizard we encounter is from tea-and-crumpet-town. What better way to learn about the origins of magic than studying the origins of England? If Professor Dietz forgets to mention magic, raise your hand and remind her. She’ll appreciate your initiative and intelligence!
Divination: Probability
As we all know, Trewlany’s class was little more than smoke and mirrors. Therefore, this is one area of study in which Davidson provides a better education than Hogwarts (for real, we asked Dumbledore). Your studies may involve more equations than tea leaves, but at least your findings will be accurate!
Herbology: Tree ID and Ecology: Dendrology
Shoutout to the Nevilles of the world! If plants are your thing, Professor P. Peroni’s 1:30-4:20 Tuesday Thursday class is the place for you to be. There’s no guarauntee that the trees you work with will come alive and scream like babies until you faint or die, but hey, it’s the Biology Department, anything could happen!
Care of Magical Creatures: Animal Physiology
Are you an animal lover who’s not afraid of maybe getting their hand bitten off? Luckily you only need to be one of those to take part in this class. Professor Dorcas is no Hagrid, but that doesn’t make the experience any less magical.
Quidditch: Games and Decisions
Little known fact about HP: Before he joined the Gryffindor team with talent seemingly out of nowhere, he took this class at Davidson. Games and Decisions will teach you the philosophy behind everyone’s favorite sport. After you take this class, you’ll be totally prepared to join Davidson’s actual Quidditch team, which should be established any minute now.
What are you waiting for? Drop all your boring classes that satisfy your distribuation requirements and contribute to your major, and sign up for the ultimate Hogwarts Education! And just in case your Hogwarts acceptance letter really was late and it’s coming in the mail any minute now, please note that these classes are absolutely 100% transferrable to Hogwarts, as is dictated by a recent contract drawn up between Quillen and Dumbledore. Until then, yer a college student, Harry. Dont be a Snape: Enjoy it!
*all gifs are from the Harry Potter Movies, A Very Potter Musical, Potter Puppet Pals, or Dear Reader, Wizard People, and the miscellaneous internet. All of these sources are recommended Summer viewing for those participating in The Hogwarts Experience at Davidson College™.