Change is constant and inevitable. As we grow older, our bodies change and we may experience what’s known as growing pains. But it seems we do not always recognize the growing pains of the heart and the mind. And we tend to forget; growing up is painful.
I am a very privileged person yet I still feel that getting older has been tough. The accompanying mental and emotional changes are not addressed as often as physical changes.
As I got older, I began to miss catching frogs with my friends, reading a book in a tree, riding my bike for fun (without the stress of having somewhere to be) and the ability to entertain myself with nothing more than my imagination.
Yet, growing older isn’t a choice. As we age, we become more self aware. This leads to insecurities we didn’t endure as children. On top of this, our generation experienced the weight of social media, forcing us to find flaws in ourselves at an early age. We are obliged to make life changing decisions at 18 when we are not even confident in ourselves.
Navigating the decisions that align with post-secondary plans are always difficult and can be stressful at the best of times. The 2020 and 2021 graduates had to make decisions under COVID-19 protocols. We were excited to see the world but had not seen much of it yet. It felt like a shot in the dark when making these important decisions.
As our environment changes, we adapt. We begin to see the physical changes in our bodies and our surroundings. However, our brains still feel like the younger versions of ourselves. Our minds can never be as innocent as they were before, but we still yearn for that blissful consciousness of youth. Nothing seems as exciting as it once was and time seems to move faster.
How can we adapt to adulthood yet hold on to those wonderful parts of our childhood? Perhaps we can begin to look at life through a more appreciative lens. It may be hard on our darker days but take time to go for a walk, and, as ridiculous as it sounds, smell a flower. Hold onto all that brought you joy as a child. Play a sport you once enjoyed or pick up an instrument. Enjoy that Mars Bar that your sweet tooth could never get enough of.
Social media dominates our lives. Sometimes, you may want to throw your phone into the ocean. But in the back of our minds, we know we can’t just disappear.
I have yet to discover the best way to handle social media. It takes time to figure out what works for you. At the end of the day, do not let it haunt or consume you. Do not fret about fabricating a perfect appearance online or feel as if you must like certain posts.
Age is associated with making important decisions. Yet in reality, it is maturity that transforms a child into a well-informed adult. We get older but we do not necessarily mature.
How can we find healthy ways to gain the confidence to make important decisions? Maybe it is experience we lack. If this is the case, ask for help! We have access to wiser and more experienced people such as family members, guidance counsellors, coaches and therapists. Perhaps we know what we want to do, yet we lack the confidence to do it. Just know there is never a perfect path. Trust yourself and do not ruminate over every move that leads to an outcome you did not desire.
Let yourself hold on to those wonderful parts of your childhood. With that, do not forget to welcome new possibilities as if you were still a child. Do not be embarrassed by your feelings as they are valid, as overwhelming as they may be. It is a scary thing to seek help or acknowledge that you are having trouble, but keep your head held high and remain courageous.