Sometimes the most painful lessons are delivered by someone masquerading as a soulmate. Heartbreak is real, painful, and messy. If you have ever been in love you know the validity of this statement.
You struggle with sadness, a time full of tears and hurt, but acting like everything is okay, thinking that if you fake it enough it will become true. The thought that it might never be possible to live your life without the person who was always there is always in your mind. Those feelings are honestly the worst, but sometimes you have to look back on what you are going through, choose you, hit them with the ‘cool’ and move on.
Now, don’t get me wrong, relationships are worth fighting for, but you can’t be the only one fighting. Post-breakup, take some time and look back at the relationship and everything that went on. It’s important to look at red flags or negative qualities of the relationship that lead to its end. You also don’t have to do this alone, it’s important to bring in trusted friends or family for other healthy viewpoints. You should never let anyone rent space in your head unless they are a good tenant.
Breakups happen for many reasons, and everyone’s stories are different. But the process of moving on as an action is fairly the same. The hard truth is, sometimes you need to burn bridges to stop yourself from crossing them again. This is extremely hard, believe us, it took me a few months to keep myself on my side of the bridge. It’s the simple things that can help you accomplish this, such as deleting their number or unfollowing them on social media. You may think keeping in contact or staying friends will ease the pain, but to heal a wound you need to stop touching it.
After your first or most recent heartbreak, it may be hard to move on while also thinking “How can I keep this from happening again?”. I think the most important thing to remember when moving on, and eventually learning how to swim again in the pool of dating is to refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. You deserve the best. Believe in patterns of actions, not the apologies given after the fact, don’t fall in love with the potential of a situation, believe red flags, and know your worth.
HCXO