Turning 21 is fun right? You can drink, you can get into any bar or club, and you can go wine tasting. But turning 21 is also a time of reflection and evaluation of life. Did I do everything I was supposed to do before turning 21? Am I ready for life’s challenges? Will I make it through college? Are all questions that you may consider when you hit the drinking age.
This summer, I turned 21! I was excited, but also nervous for what life would have in store for me at this age. I always imagined that I would know just how to navigate life and I would be confident at any given moment. But let me tell you, there are many things that I am still learning how to do and that’s perfectly okay! However, I have learned many important things over the years that have helped me navigate.
1. BE KIND
Not everyone in life has been kind to me and I have not always been kind in return. But now at 21, I realize that everyone deserves a shed of kindness even if it just means holding the door for someone or paying them a compliment.
2. hAVE rESILIENCE
Life has its bumps in the road here and then! We all experience the craziness that is life! Whether we don’t get the job we were hoping for or have a loved one in need, we find a way to deal with the challenges that life throws our way. Personally, I have found that focusing on what brings me joy in life and what I want to achieve in life builds my resilience when the going gets rough.
3. Don’t Look in the rearview Mirror
Everyone makes mistakes in life! Whether big or small, we all manage to learn from our mistakes and strive to do better. It is important to fixate on what’s in front of you, instead of what’s behind you.
I too have made mistakes of my own and have struggled to get past a few of them even though I have already learned from them. I constantly have to remind myself not to fixate on what’s the past, but on what’s in front of me. With this mindset, I have managed to get past some of my mistakes and focus on the present.
4. Go after what you want in life
Life is too short for not going after your goals in life! Hike that trail, run that marathon, go to that concert, and even go for that internship! You will never know what you can accomplish unless you put yourself out there.
5. Be yourself
There is no shame in being who you are! We each bring our own perspectives to the table that allow us to be our authentic selves. I myself have felt uncomfortable in contributing my own perspectives to the table even when they are relevant to the situation. But now at 21, I have become more comfortable in sharing my perspectives and in my own skin. Don’t be afraid to show off your awesome selves.
6. Self care is important
I often struggle with incorporating self-care into my daily routine even when I am under a tremendous amount of stress due to academics and work. When I am able to practice self-care, I have found that I am more relaxed and at ease while I am managing my assignments along with working part time.
7. trust the process
Everything takes time! We don’t reach our goals overnight; we need to take everything a step at a time. In reaching our goals, we put in the right amount of work needed towards achieving our goals. Eventually our hard work pays off and we are proud of what we have accomplished, and we can move on to our next goals.
8. sURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR YOU
In our lives it is important that we surround ourselves with people who appreciate us for who we are and what we do. In this way, we feel supported and loved regardless of what we choose to do in life.
If we surround ourselves with people who bring out the worst in us, then we will not feel like we are supported otherwise. Personally, I have found that if I surround myself with people who support me, I can do anything I set my mind to.
9. SET BOUNDARIES
Although it is important to let other people in every once in a while, it is also important to know where our boundaries lie. For example, if someone does something that makes us uncomfortable, we can communicate this to the other person and take further measures as needed.
In high school, I had an experience where I befriended a new student who gave me an uncomfortable feeling. At times, this friend also got passive aggressive if I declined an offer to hang out with her after school and I did not know how to handle the situation. Because of this experience, I learned the importance of setting boundaries with others and how I can accomplish this.
10. BE SELFLESS
Whether you take a moment to sign a petition, donate to a worthy cause, or help someone during a difficult time, it is important to show selflessness every now and then. I have found that practicing selflessness can benefit someone greatly and can even make their day.
11. SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS YOU CAN WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
When I lost my uncle to esophageal cancer my freshman year of college, I realized the importance of spending as much time as you can with your loved ones because they may be gone before you realize it. After my uncle’s death, I made a point to visit my relatives whenever I could and to engage with them.
12. ITS OK to still be single
Being single at 21 feels out of place, especially when you see other people your age or younger either in relationships, engaged, or married. It really makes you question when you will start a relationship with someone and if you ever will. But being single has taught me that the right person will come at the right time, and you have time to explore your identity and your pursuits.
13. don’t expect perfection
As someone who has strived to be successful in academics and in extracurriculars, I have learned that setting high expectations for yourself does not always go according to plan. As disappointing as things can be when your goals don’t work out the way you want them to, I have learned that you can learn from your failures and can do better as you are working on your next set of goals.
14. You can do anything you set your mind to
As a college student who has recently been accepted into the psychology major program, I have found that if you have the motivation and grit to achieve your goals in life whether tangible or intangible, you can achieve anything you set your mind to in life. Even when the going gets rough, I still find a way to keep going so I can achieve the goals I have set for myself.
15. don’t judge a book by its cover
Growing up, I was often judged by others as I presented differently as a result of my Autism and I would judge them in return. But now at 21, I have learned the importance of keeping an open mind when getting to know other people. You never know what other people are going through in life and you can never know who someone is by just one glance. Who knows, you may end up becoming great friends with the quiet girl or the person who sits next to you in class.
16. plan ahead
Time management am I right? Having four classes along with working part time and writing articles can be exhausting and stressful. I have found that using a planner to plan your time on assignments and readings is quite helpful in managing your tasks each week. Also having a planner allows you to check off your assignments as you complete them and can make having to go to class and work each week less stressful.
17. you don’t owe anyone
Under no obligation are you to act a certain way to impress and comply with the expectations of other people. You are your own person and you have wants and needs like everyone else. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable at any point, you are not obligated to engage with that person. If you absolutely need to cut anyone from your life, do it, there are far more important things in life to worry about. You do you!
18. Prioritize mental health
From a young age, I was taught the value of hard work and quickly learned the benefits that came with it. Since then, I have incorporated hard work into my academics and have set high expectations for myself.
Hard work though has come at a cost as I have put hard work before self-care. Hard work has its way of adding stress and sleep depravity into life. Even at 21, I still struggle to take breaks from assignments and will go hours at a time without taking any breaks.
But when I am able to take breaks, I will sometimes apply a face mask, take a nap, or go for a walk. I have learned that to prioritize mental health you sometimes need to take a step back from your responsibilities and set a time dedicated to focusing on your health and well-being.
19. Establish healthy habits
Eating right, hydrating, exercising at least a few times a week, and focusing on your mental health are essential to establishing healthy habits in your life. Perhaps you set a time to go for a walk or jog, journal, or you start bringing a water bottle to class and having a healthy study snack. Whichever habits you establish, make sure that they are realistic and something that you are interested in.
20. be comfortable in your own skin
Finding confidence in yourself can be especially challenging if you have been made to feel less than or don’t feel that you matter. In my case, I was often ridiculed as I presented a little differently due to my Autism. I fidgeted with my hands and some of my classmates would mock me for it.
As a result of this, I felt hurt and excluded by others. Now at 21, I have embraced my differences and I am proud of who I am becoming as a person and as an advocate for the autistic community. Once you feel comfortable in your own skin, you can conquer anything you set your mind to and can get through any obstacle’s life throws your way.
21. your experience is valid
Our experiences are our own and no one can tell us differently. Whether our experiences are positive or negative, they are from our perspectives and our perspectives only. We can interpret them in the way that came from our experiences and can form opinions or judgments on them. You matter and so do your experiences.
Life has its ups and downs, so much of what we learn and experience before turning 21 impacts our outlooks on life and shapes us into the people we are today. We learn new things each day and continue to grow from them.
XO Her Campus