I remember my first jobs in high school; lifeguard, camp counselor, and waitress my first summer of college. Cringing — I recall when I dropped a tray of food at my waitressing job and had a full on panic attack, having to leave work and eventually resigned because I was treated so poorly by management because of my struggles with mental illness.
My mental illness, bipolar disorder, has shaped a lot of my life in recent years. I was diagnosed in my freshman year of college after battling a massive, crippling episode of hypomania — or severe depression. Medications came and went, and I’ve been inpatient and outpatient. Searching for jobs scared me because I felt like a flaky, sad mess.
After going to therapy for a while I pushed myself to apply for an internship, but I knew I wanted some side money for spending at school.
I saw an ad “receptionist wanted” on a job search website. I hadn’t had much customer service experience, but it looked like a good place to try and dip my toes back into working. It was embarrassing to me that I was afraid of an interview for a receptionist job at a small business with a sweet, friendly owner. That’s how bad my anxiety was. When I woke up and got ready I was shaking and thought to myself, there’s no way I’ll get hired. She’ll see through my lack of experience and knows I’d be the type to drop food and have a panic attack at work.
Luckily, I had an awesome interview. For the first time in my life I felt like a valuable asset to a business. The owner, Kate, and I talked about the job but also talked about her daughter, my college experience and our red hair. It was such a humanized, joyful experience that we don’t often get the pleasure of experiencing at work — and it’s a shame we don’t treat each other this way at workplaces in America (in my experience).
Adjusting to customer service wasn’t hard at all for me. I wish I could tell you there was a lot of training involved and I overcame another hurdle. Something inside me clicked, and I instantly was able to speak to customers with knowledge, courtesy and poise. I hardly ever stumbled over my words and I knew how to make people laugh when they were frustrated with services or products.
People around me noticed that I treated myself and others differently after taking this job. For instance, a perk of working at Blue Buddha is free yoga classes. It was there I tapped into a journey of returning to understanding my needs before I pour myself into others. Aerial yoga was a struggle, but oh so fun to swing around on the silks in an empty studio before class.
My point is that, while it’s “just a desk job” to some, for me it’s a second home and it saved me from giving up on job searching and thinking I wasn’t as valuable as a working person. There’s a tendency to look down on customer service jobs, but they are the backbone of our working world and provide insights to the way you treat yourself and others.
Patience, kindness and organization are just a few of the changes I’ve noticed in myself. I can’t even tell you how incredible it is to hear from people that I’m their favorite voice to hear at the desk after a massage, or from coworkers that I make their lives easier. I make people happy, and by extension I’ve made myself happy.
Find something eye catching on your next job hunt that you want to try, it might scare you, but apply for a position you want. Money is a concern, sure, but finding a place that values you will ultimately create a space for you to value yourself.
Blue Buddha, a small yoga and massage studio, taught me a lot and has cared for me in a way I didn’t expect. Trust me, I was not a yogi, hippy massage loving guru — but I had a smile and heart to learn. If I hadn’t applied, I might still be crippled with anxiety that could affect the rest of my life outside of work. Take chances.