“Long distance” can already be a cringe worthy combo of words. If you’re like me, you’ve had to make the decision of whether you want to keep a long-distance relationship in college or not.
Its almost the end of summer, and move-in is only days away. Your friends tell you that you are absolutely crazy for doing a long-distance relationship. They tell you over and over, “This is your time to be single!” or something along the lines of, “Long distance never works out anyway, you should just break up.” But how could you?? He’s your best friend and you really don’t have a reason to break up. Are your friends right? They might be. I’ll give you a little insight on long distance and how you can tackle the situation head on.
Just warning you now, it’s not easy.
Truth #1: Jealousy
If you’re the type of person that needs to know your partner’s whereabouts at all times, you should probably get over that real fast. Learn to be okay with that fact that your guy could be living on the same floor as 30 other gorgeous girls. Just because they were placed on the same floor doesn’t mean that he wants to get cuddled up next to them tonight. But your guy should also understand that just because you met a new guy friend in class doesn’t mean that you want to go on to a fancy dinner on Pearl with him this weekend.
It all boils down to whether you and your partner are completely secure and confident that your relationship is going to last. If one of you gets jealous all of the time and loves to play 20 questions every day, it’ll just get harder and harder to get along. (Which is totally defeating the purpose of long-distance relationship). People get jealous. It happens. Just don’t ignore your problems, talk about it. Be honest about it.
Truth #2: Absence Doesn’t Make the Heart Grow Fonder
Who even came up with that saying? I totally 10000% disagree that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It’s stupid. What actually makes the heart grow fonder are the little things that keep your relationship together. Maybe it’s the late-night FaceTime calls when your roommate went out to the Hill for the night. It could be the occasional care packages or flowers you send each other every once in a while just as a nice reminder on how much you love each other. Or maybe even something as small as a “good morning” and “good night” text every day. It’s the little things that remind you that you’re in love with your best friend that make the heart grow fonder.
Truth #3: It Can Hold You Back Even When You Think It’s Not
How many times could you say that you wanted to go out, but decided against it because nothing exciting was really going on? Is it really worth it to go out? Would [insert partners name here] be mad/jealous/upset if I went? Ugh, decisions man. They suck.
As a single sophomore and a taken freshman, I can say that I didn’t realize how much I was holding myself back due to my long-distance relationship.
Even if your partner wouldn’t be mad at you for hitting a night out on the Hill, you could still have those pangs of regret from being around other dudes; especially that one guy that flirts with you just a little too much.
Anyways, if you feel like your relationship is holding you back, rather than let you thrive in the ways your supposed to in college, I would reconsider the reasons why you decided to do long-distance in the first place.
I know it sounds like tough love, but I’m only looking out for you and your relationship, girl.
The Ultimate Truth
Long distance can definitely be rewarding. Although you may be a living countdown, it totally pays off when you get to see your partner after a while. If you and your main squeeze are in it for the long haul, I have no doubt in my mind that you can make it work.
Now what I won’t do is sit here and lecture you on how to make a long distance relationship work, because it is completely different for every couple. The only piece of advice I would give is to be completely honest and open with the other person. Don’t hold anything back. Tell them the truth and only the truth. (Unless you have a cute surprise visit planned for them, then definitely tell a lie in that case). Tell them how you feel at exactly the moment you are feeling it. I know it sounds repetitive and cheesy, but I’m only talking out of experience, ladies.
Long distance could be beautifully rewarding or a complete hot-mess. Start from the basics on why you want to put yourself through this difficult situation and go from there. I have faith in you, girl.