The sensation of saying “no” has always been a difficult and foreign feeling. The thoughts of rejection and the thoughts of the person hating you are constantly lurking in the mind when a request or demand is made for your services and you want/need to say no. I personally have always had issues with telling someone no due to the lovely curse of being an overthinker and a people pleaser. The overwhelming craving for acceptance has always outweighed my own personal boundaries that I set for myself. This need for approval also has controlled parts of my life, but there’s hope! Although it’s still challenging for me, I have personally found a couple of ways to say “no:”
“Reasoning behind my madNess”
This particular method can be taken with lightness or seriousness depending on the situation. If someone asks you to do something, especially something that may be outside of your comfort zone, try saying “No, I’m sorry, I can’t due too to *insert your own reasoning*”
One example would be if a coworker cornered you and asked, “Can you cover my shift this week on Thanksgiving?” There are many options for the method of “reasoning behind my madness” that could be applied here. If you want something on the lighter side you could say something absolutely ridiculous such as. “No, I already am busy that day. I’m going to be too busy enjoying mounds of mashed potatoes to cover your shift.” If you want to say something more serious, try something along the lines of “No… you asked very last minute, and I will be out of town. I wish you luck in finding cover.”
“Medusa Staredown”
The next method can have some variation, but still falls under the umbrella of the “Medusa Staredown.” This method requires eye contact that is intense to the point where your victim will (metaphorically) turn to stone. You can either say “No” with all the hatred your eyes can muster. Or, you firmly say “no” and leave them bewildered with nonstop eye contact. Not only will this method help assert your dominance, but it also leaves little room for someone to guilt-trip you. All of their objections will fall short due to the intimidation that emanates from your body with this method.
“The Speedy Exit”
The last method I can offer is that of the “Speedy Exit.” This method is for those who hate confrontation and prefer to get things over as quickly as possible. For this method’s execution, there are two facts that must be kept in mind: speed and delivery. Speed is crucial for this method to work. Haste will be key when it’s time to walk away from the person at hand after saying “no.” If talking fast is more your vibe, you can also hastily say no before you make your exit. The delivery of saying “no” all depends on what kind of decline you are particularly going for. There’s the adamant no, a timid no, or an airily no. No matter what type, this method is recommended for those on a time crunch or simply just want to keep it short and simple.
Overall, you shouldn’t feel guilty about telling someone “no.” You should and need to put your own needs and boundaries before anyone else’s. If someone tries to guilt you for saying no, that person doesn’t deserve your time ever. If you are looking for more polite ways to say no, check out India Today’s 10 polite ways to say no.