This New Year’s Eve Doesn’t Have To Be Scary

New Years celebrations used to fill me with dread. I remember sitting on the couch last December with my childhood best friend and watching the ball drop in silence. Instead of getting together with our neighbors to celebrate like we had done when we were kids, we returned from the closing shift at both of our retail jobs, masks still dangling from our wrists, and found ourselves feeling apathetic as we looked back on 2020. Each year I found that, increasingly, the glasses of sparkling cider, party hats, and cheery midnight countdowns did not symbolize progress, achievement, or new beginnings in my eyes, but rather served as sardonic reminders that another year had got behind me and I hadn’t accomplished all that I would have liked. I couldn’t help but remember that the resolutions I’d set for myself in past Decembers were never fulfilled, and I had never become a new, healthier, transformed version of myself. The holiday always seemed sort of futile, and I know this perspective is a universal one. Here are some things to remember later this month:

Your celebration doesn’t have to be extravagant.

I’m beginning to view the holiday as an opportunity to indulge in reflection and gratitude rather than partying or pursuing the obligatory New Year’s kiss. If reminiscing on the beautiful and abundant (or rough and depleted) year that you had with a small group of friends is more your thing, then there’s no reason to feel like you’re not “doing enough” to celebrate. Ordering take out and watching a movie to ring in the New Year is just as acceptable as going out on the town with a large group of people. 

Actually, it’s okay to celebrate alone.

I have always wanted to do this but feel pressured every year to be in at least one other person’s company as the clock strikes midnight. I never wanted to be perceived as lonely or have people assume that I didn’t get invited to anything, which, I am realizing now, was silly of me to think. There is much more value in the time you spend alone than in the time you spend being social.  Maybe it’s the introvert in me, but I feel that I’m able to grow much more as a person and achieve a higher degree of mental clarity when I’m by myself. I always think of my favorite quote by Jenny Slate: “As the image of myself becomes sharper in my brain and more precious, I feel less afraid that someone else will erase me by denying me love.” 

You can make a change any day of the year…

After all, Jan. 1 inherently holds no greater importance than any other day. If there’s something you’ve been wanting to try, make, read, watch, or abandon, you shouldn’t feel obligated to wait until the middle of winter to do so. This mindset will help you dissolve much of the power that New Years holds in your eyes, and when you don’t bound into January with some weighty expectation on your back, your life will flow much more smoothly. 

…Or make no changes at all.

I feel that there is an omnipresent pressure to be constantly improving, shedding old skin and transforming as individuals. While these are good endeavors to pursue, it’s more important to be in the moment most of the time and acknowledge and appreciate where you are. If you are content and satisfied with your friends, your job, your health, how your time is managed, etc., there’s really no reason for you to feel like you should change any element of your life. 

The most important thing to remember is that a New Year is what you make of it. It can be a marker of big new beginnings if you wish, or it can be another day for you to continue on a journey you’ve already begun.