With the new year comes longing for self improvement. The familiar gut wrenching desperation for change hits me at the same time every year and, as usual, I begin constructing Pinterest boards and itemized goal sheets days before January even begins. Women with perfect bodies, cocktails with a group of friends, acceptance letters and inspirational quotes…they all flood my mind with ideas of how I can make myself better.Â
This year, however, I find myself troubled by the annual pressure to constantly level up in every aspect of life. As college students, it almost seems like going to class and getting a degree is the bare minimum. Outside of class, there’s a pressure to gain professional experience as quickly as possible. To balance field hours, internships, jobs, and continuing to apply to even more work opportunities for the summer months. It shouldn’t feel like a race, but it’s hard to pace yourself when faced with constant reminders of your classmates’ strides in their careers. Professional growth is only a piece of the puzzle, alongside the expectation to have the time of your life socially and maintain your physical and mental health, to keep a high GPA and get enough sleep. With so many areas to improve, how do we decide what is most important? What will have to be left behind when there’s not enough time to do it all?
It’s frustrating to feel the need to balance all of these aspects of life flawlessly. It’s nearly impossible to do it all, and yet social media has convinced so many of us that we must thrive in every department in order to be considered worthy of the approval of our peers. Even knowing this, I still abandon logic and feel inadequate whenever I have a shortcoming in one area of life or another. In times where it feels like failure is inevitable and I’m falling behind somewhere, not getting enough exercise to prioritize studying or exhausting myself too much to go to a social event, the most important thing I have found to cure this insecurity is putting down any sort of technology and spending time with the people around you.
The figures we see on our phones aren’t real. The Pinterest boards that we curate so specifically to paint a perfect picture of what our year should look like are works of fiction, snapshots of different lives pieced together to create an unattainable ideal. Real people are right in front of us, succeeding and failing, learning how to balance it all and struggling alongside us. I have never once looked at a friend and considered them inadequate because they got a B-minus on a paper. Why would I ever hold myself to such a ridiculous standard?
This winter, though it may be cold, dark, and challenging, put the vision board away when you can. Talk to the people you love. Celebrate triumphs and mistakes equally. Rest often. Push yourself when you’re feeling stuck. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friends. The balance will fall into place when you focus on growth rather than success.Â