Ever since I was a kid I’ve had big dreams. Mind you, I would often change my career plans by the week, but nevertheless I knew in my heart I would go far. At one point I wanted to be a doctor, nurse, veterinarian, ballerina and astronaut; effectively I wanted to be Barbie. However as I got older, my confidence began to falter, and I started to doubt myself more and distrust the path that I was on. I got so caught up in trying to be perfect for everyone else, that I lost sight of who I wanted to be.Â
Fear is a common, perhaps the most common, human emotion. It sinks into our lives, and once it finds you it doesn’t leave. Fear and doubt are so intertwined that it can inhibit your decision making and ability to see your own life and options clearly. We often think as a society that everything has to be planned all the time, and that if you aren’t successful or achieving at a certain age or milestone you cannot possibly progress as well as your peers.Â
It is common for humans to compare ourselves to others. It is a primate trait to define yourself in how you measure up to the rest of the “pack”. But with the influx of social media and online activity, teenagers often compare themselves to other people their age based on our societal standards. As was written by the Newport Academy, “According to social comparison theory, individuals determine their own social and personal worth based on how they measure up against others.” For many people, wealth or popularity is a huge factor in comparing themselves to others, and often leads them to feel bad about themselves if they lack in any such area.Â
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
-Suzzy Kassem
Oftentimes, the fear of failure is more limiting to us than failure itself. All the big dreams that I had as a kid disappeared as I got older because I deemed them unrealistic for my skillset or impossible to achieve. Possibly some of them are, but in my experience if you are passionate enough about something you can learn to overcome any obstacles that may be in your way.Â
What I have learned through my struggles is that it feels impossible when you begin, the journey is long, and the rewards you may reap seem like only a gleam in one’s eye. You have to be motivated enough to keep going, even when it feels like you aren’t making progress or like you are slower and less prepared than everybody else. Another thing I have learned is that in the hard moments, gratitude always comes in a clutch. Think about what you already have, the blessings and opportunities in your own life. More often than not you already have what you need to begin the journey and keep reaching towards your goals. Â
Success doesn’t come easy, something we have all heard before but it is true. The problem, as I see it, is finding a balance between dreaming and working. You must find something you love enough to work for, and keep going even when you get stuck in a rut. It’s important to hold on to your dreams because we all deserve a bit of magic in our lives, trust in the process and yourself even when no one else will. The journey will matter just as much as the end result, so stay positive and give yourself grace. You can’t just wish upon a star and expect your life to magically get better, you have to be in the driver’s seat and make it work for you.