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CU Boulder | Life > Academics

The Perpetual Procrastinator

Keeley Haynes Student Contributor, University of Colorado - Boulder
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CU Boulder chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

As I am writing this article, it is three days late. I never intend for this to happen. In fact, as soon as I receive a deadline, I set up a “strict” schedule for myself. 

Okay, the article is due Friday, meaning I’ll start writing Tuesday, revise Wednesday, and submit it for edits by Thursday. 

Tuesday approaches and suddenly I have so much homework. Wednesday comes and I just have to watch this random movie. Thursday is here and it seems like a stellar idea to watch Tik Tok for six hours. Friday arrives and what do you know, I have not one word written. 

In his TED Talk, “Inside the mind of a master procrastinator,” Tim Urban describes the “Panic Monster.” The Panic Monster slowly awakes as due dates creep closer and closer, alerting a procrastinator of the work which needs to be done. It begins to roar, however, the night before those deadlines. Procrastinators have no choice but to jump into action to escape the heart-palpitating, sweat-inducing, anxiety-attack-inviting nature of the Panic Monster. Somehow the procrastinator finishes everything in one night, and the Panic Monster serenely goes back to sleep. 

Unfortunately, the Panic Monster and I are best friends. Whether I’m working on a 10-page paper or a project I’ve had a month to do, I can never find the motivation to start anything unless my brain feels compressed by the pressure to get it done. I always feel like I have more time, know I will get it done, or straight up do not care enough to initiate action. I go on living my life peacefully until I am confronted with the consequences of my own actions. The day before something is due, though, it turns out that I do not have time nor do Iknow if I will get it done. It appears as if I really, really do care. 

The stress this process has caused has aged me at least five years. However, I can’t stop the cycle because it somehow always works. Every time I anticipate failure, I pull myself together enough to finish an assignment. I meet the deadline or am granted an extension. I do decently enough to not disbar procrastinating from my lifestyle habits. 

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For example, this semester my English professor assigned me a 1500-word essay worth twenty percent of my final grade. Seeing I had two weeks to complete the paper, I immediately dismissed it. I’ll worry about that later, I told myself. The day before the due date approached: my chest filled with uneasy flurries. The Panic Monster was in full force. 12 hours were spent analyzing, typing, screaming, erasing, crying, and editing. Exhausted, I defeatedly handed my professor my paper expecting the worst. I was fully aware it was the worst paper I had ever written and took an oath to never relive that experience again. 

Weeks passed and we finally received our graded essays. As my professor laid my tear-stained paper on my desk, my eyes remained shut tight. I physically felt unable to confront my failure. I gave myself a pep talk, telling myself that no matter what grade I received, the sun would still rise tomorrow. Little did I know, an A would stare back at me. 

Right then and there, I knew I would never stop procrastinating. Obviously there was a method to my madness. My fear of failure ignites me. I just need a little burn to trigger my ambition. Will this habit ever cause me to explode? I guess I’ll figure it out later. 

Keeley Haynes

CU Boulder '27

Keeley Haynes serves as the Outreach Director for CU Boulder's Her Campus chapter. She coordinates the club’s social events, local partnerships and profile opportunities. She also acts as a staff writer, sharing her thoughts on all things media, politics and food. This is Keeley’s third year in Her Campus.

At CU, Keeley is a junior majoring in Journalism and minoring in Writing and Public Engagement, English Literature and Business. She currently works as an editor for CMDI’s student publication, The Bold, and as a content writer for CU’s alumni magazine, The Coloradan. She aspires to become a foreign correspondent someday.

Outside of the writing room, you will find Keeley walking, reading an Anthony Bourdain book, reclining in a movie theatre seat or working at Kalita Grill, the best Greek restaurant in Boulder (albeit she may be biased). Her favorite and most expensive hobby is attending concerts. The best show she’s attended is Charli xcx and Troye Sivan’s Sweat Tour. When she is not dancing to Charli, she is crying to Phoebe Bridgers, laughing at The 1975’s lyrics or embarrassingly trying to rap along with Kendrick Lamar.