Ranking things I have done alone from least to most scary, because sometimes, I am just a girl.
1. Stimulating Activities – 0/10
Last year, in the depths of my boredom, I marched myself to the recreation center and rented a pair of ice skates for the evening. For about two and a half hours, I skated around the rink in circles listening to music and running through cheesy scenarios in my head. I was such a main character. It didn’t matter that every other rink occupant was a couple, holding hands and laughing amongst themselves, I was having fun. And I only fell once!
From there, because ice skating was not really my favorite thing in the world, I took to the rest of the rec center and tried everything. The cycle classes stuck, the zumba one did not. Now, I spend my gym time in classes like F45, yoga, cycle, barre, pilates, and sometimes a little meditation. And, when I’m really feeling crazy, I’ll do a couple laps in the pool during open swim or (in the warmer months) lay outside the outdoor pool for a nice tan. Nobody ever looks my way twice (which is actually sad because I think I look great in a one piece swimsuit).
Perhaps for more brain stimulation, I recommend a museum walk. It is probably the only place where it’s custom to sit in silence and be by yourself. I sometimes bring a journal in case inspiration strikes, whether in the shape of a poem or a painting. If art and history is not your thing, a walk outside is always an option. From window shopping on Pearl Street to strolling around Chautauqua, it is a good time and place to be alone with your thoughts.
2. Eating Out – 3/10
The first time I went to a restaurant by myself, I was tempted to ask them for a table for two and then act like I was stood up by a date… but that seemed a little over dramatic. So, I just embraced my loneliness and opened up a book instead.
The only hard parts to get past when dining by yourself are, one: feeling like everyone in the restaurant is looking at you, two: feeling like your waiter is judging you, and three: getting bored. But let me ease your mind. I have eaten by myself in too many restaurants to count, both in my hometown and in foreign countries. Yes, you might catch a few glances from fellow patrons, but that is not because you are alone, it’s because humans are naturally nosy. And no, the waiter is not judging you. Approaching one person at a table could even be easier on them or cause them to be more personable. Maybe it’s just Italian men, but every single Italian waiter who served me last summer ended up sitting down across from me for at least a few seconds to chat. And sometimes, it’s not the waiter, but a table next to you. One time, in Barcelona, the woman beside me (also alone) and I ended up joining tables and exchanging book reviews for the entire afternoon.
Which brings me to my final point: bring something to do if you are worried about getting bored. I have read books, journaled, listened to music, and sat in silence to people watch during my solo dates. The whole table is yours! Anything goes!
3. Sports Games – 5/10
Maybe it’s the sports girl talking, but this has become my favorite way to watch sports. Some girls like concerts (which I’ve also done alone, the same advice applies), but I like games. When I moved to Boulder, though, I did not have a group of friends to attend things with. But did I still go watch our beloved Coach Prime and the Sanders brothers? Of course I did. I waited in that long student line outside (and was able to sneak past the large groups way easier), scouted out a single seat around a crowd I was comfortable with, and cheered my ass off for three hours straight. After the first football game, though, it became easy. When winter came, I secured my designated seat at the Events Center, where I sat every single home game. The right-most chair in the front row was my spot, and even the basketball team knew it by the end of the season.
These games set me up for the main challenge: a Formula One race in a foreign country. While in Budapest (traveling alone), I spent an entire day wandering around a 3 mile track in the hot sun, watching million dollar cars race at 200 mph with 300,000 other people. It was a life goal of mine and at the end of the day, who really cares? With that in my back pocket, a little college football has nothing on me.
4. Excursions – 7/10
Probably one of my best travel stories of all time is when I booked a snorkeling trip around the Amalfi coast for myself. There were two other families on board and I got a lot of questions right off the bat. I hated the attention. It did not help that there were other kids only a little bit younger than me on board, and despite myself, I still got flustered trying to convince them I was cool. After the first hour, though, when our captain finally opened up the bottle of prosecco, and I made a joke that everyone laughed at (the ultimate confidence booster), I loosened up. I saved myself from embarrassment with the kids and instead made small talk with the parents. The captain, surprisingly, ended up as my closest companion on the trip, as he was only two years older than me. Especially after he willingly took Instagram photos for me, my only worry left was not dropping my phone in the ocean.
During another part of my European summer, I visited a winery for a wine tasting tour. I took the train outside of Barcelona and joined a group of older people for a tour of the facility. My experience was similar to the snorkel cruise, the older couples asked me why I was by myself, but not from a place of judgement, but intrigue. I learned from my time on the snorkel cruise that the more I shared and opened up, the more comfortable everyone became. So that is what I did. The inner storyteller in me came out and eventually, there was nothing left to be scared of.
So, let’s change the narrative on doing things alone. It is not because I’m lonely or have no friends (and even if that’s true, so what) but it has genuinely become a refreshing and empowering experience for me. The more things I do alone, the more I realize my own strength, and there is no better feeling than that.