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On A Country Of Immovable Minds: Tips & Tricks To Have The Tough Conversations

Brooke Coffman Student Contributor, University of Colorado - Boulder
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CU Boulder chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

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As I accumulate my major in journalism, I often wonder if covering controversial topics will ever result in changed minds.

Everyone says that at this point of political polarization in our country, conversations are more important than ever — and the publication of controversy is one the best ways to start those discussions. With this considered, we must think about if these conversations are actually producing any substantial or new thoughts. 

Nowadays, any conversation happening from two opposing sides often results in a hostile debate that ends up going nowhere. Each disputant will take the other side’s aggression and mold it into a confirmation of their own beliefs — arguing that the other side is “always so aggressive” and “can’t listen to different opinions.” Although some may argue elsewise, this is not an isolated reaction from either side of the political spectrum; it actually might be one of the only traits that both sides have in common. 

If I’ve learned anything about my personal conversations in the past decade, it’s that facts don’t change minds anymore. This is because our leaders have stripped reliable institutions and individuals of their credibility, and in turn, correlated the denial of facts to a “difference of opinion.”

To combat this denial, we must appeal to the one thing that unites us all as humans: emotion. So, here are a few tactics to use in a controversial discussion that won’t polarize each side, but rather foster understanding.

Tell stories, not stats

Considering the denial that was mentioned above, it’s very easy for an opposing side to not believe a solid statistic. By retelling your own story, or that of a close family member or friend, you may be able to appeal to the emotional side of the issue. For many people, they don’t want to believe that something is true unless it has happened to them or someone close to them. By exemplifying that the people these issues are affecting are not just numbers but impacted individuals, you might be able to actualize the impact.

Find common ground and work back from there

Being able to find common ground or shared interest is essential in any form of debate. The easiest way to find this is by stripping political language, and getting to the moral issue at hand. We can do this, for example, with the hot topic of immigration. One side pushes — or at least says that they are pushing — for enforcing legal immigration that results in the deportation of undocumented immigrants. The opposing side argues that the U.S. immigration system is inaccessible and that we must create attainable pathways for long-term U.S. residents. The ways in which each side wants to honor safety and legality obviously differ. But, the common ground here is — or at least should be — prioritizing the wellbeing of immigrants.

Use clear language with a calm tone

When we get flustered, so does our language. Remaining cool, calm, and collected is key for a successful changing of mind. When someone feels attacked, especially on a viewpoint that is as sacred as politics, they dig their heels in even more. It takes a lot of guts for someone to admit that they’re wrong, especially if they are being made to feel inferior in their original point. Despite how immoral or dehumanizing one’s opinions may be, try to break the issue down in a calm manner — this might be the only way for them to listen.

Know that it’ll take time

As mentioned above, someone admitting that they are wrong takes a great deal of humility and willingness. Not everyone is going to change their mind on these issues that have been so deeply ingrained in us through falsified information and propaganda. With that being said, those who are willing may just take time. Being consistent in these conversations is crucial to helping people unlearn what they have been encouraged to internalize. Relying on composure comes with the keeping of patience.

This issue is very nuanced. Of course, there are people that it is unsafe to even engage with on these topics, and some that are just too far gone. Despite this, these conversations are still worth having as long as it’s safe to do so. As Frederick Douglass once said, “the limit of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress.”

Brooke Coffman

CU Boulder '28

Brooke is a sophomore at CU with a major in journalism and minors in political science and women/gender studies! She took a gap year after graduating from high school to pursue her secondary passion for skin care by getting her esthetician license which she received last summer.
Brooke also has a deep love for all things fashion, and holds close a dream of someday being an editor at Interview Magazine. She enjoys writing commentary articles on sociopolitical issues, specifically pertaining to her strong zeal for feminist theory.
This bleeds into her strong passion for activism, whether that be attending protests, signing petitions, or passing along informative posts on social media.
You will often find her sipping on a matcha and listening to an amalgamation of classic rock, disco, funk, and a hint of "modern" pop. Brooke loves to explore her love for music through dancing, going to concerts, and discovering new artists. Her current musical obsessions include Fleetwood Mac, Beyoncé, SZA, and Stevie Wonder.
She also enjoys traveling around the world with family and friends; her favorite spots being Santorini and Budapest.
Brooke's other creative hobbies include sewing, which was heavily ingrained in her upbringing because of her beloved grandmother, and anything that includes the outdoors.
She also enjoys playing volleyball, which she had played competitively from 2nd grade all the way up until her senior year of high school.
Brooke loves finding ways to blend her hobbies and interests together, and hopes to someday do that with her passions for journalism and fashion.