This story has such an inspirational beginning: I was doomscrolling. During a break, while bored out of my mind, I found myself on TikTok for hours until I fell down a rabbit hole about Louise Carmen journals; these gorgeous, customizable French planners that made journaling look like a personality trait. My New Year’s resolution was to become an “it girl,” and this little product felt like my entry point. Funny enough, my therapist had been urging me to journal for months, but it took TikTok aesthetic content to actually get me there. The moment I got back to Boulder, I went straight to Michaels to DIY my own version. I was so excited to start — until I opened it, stared at the blank page, and immediately got writer’s block. For a journal. That no one would ever read.
For days I felt this overwhelming dread about starting, as I didn’t want my first entry to be stupid. “Dear Diary, I felt stupid for writing to you.” That was the only thing I could think of and I believe some of you might relate. The fear of writing a journal, accompanied by feeling immature and like you are just complaining. So back to TikTok I went. I searched for creators who had tips to start, most of which consisted of just writing down what happened in the day and what you can reflect on, which I ended up trying, but it still didn’t feel like what I wanted to be journaling for. So, I continued my search and found one creator who suggested finding daily prompts that you felt connected to something in your life. She even gave a few to start with. The next morning, I attempted that. I started with the prompt of “If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?” This prompt genuinely challenged me. My father recently passed, so that was my first thought, but instead of doing the easy idea, I wanted to go deeper. I ended up writing about my childhood — specifically, the things my mother used to say to me. “You didn’t get first so I didn’t care about horses.” or “If you don’t want to keep practicing, then we will sell your horse.” Writing about that time in my life made me reflect on how I’ve talked to myself — through high school, through college, even now. A simple prompt turned into a deep dive on how the harsh things placed in my head as a child don’t have to define who I am today. If I want to become an “it girl,” I realized, it starts with actually believing I’m allowed to be one. Not in a fake-confidence way — but in a genuine, I-am-enough way. The negative thoughts I carry don’t reflect the effort I put in every single day to grow. They’re just old noise.
After that first entry, I was hooked. Prompts gave me permission to go somewhere specific instead of staring at a blank page, wondering what I was supposed to feel. I started collecting ones that actually made me think — not surface-level ‘what are you grateful for’ stuff, but questions that made me a little uncomfortable to answer honestly. Here are a few of my favorites:Â
- Â What makes me feel fulfilled
- Am I making life decisions that I want to make or ones I think I should make?Â
- If I only accomplish one thing this year, I would be really proud of myself if I…
- If failure was not a possibility, what would I do with my life? – This one wrecked me in the best way!
- What is my current biggest fear?
- When was the last time I achieved something I felt was difficult? – This one made me realize I don’t give myself credit for little things!
- How can I show up for the people in my life/ how can people show up for me?
- What is the hardest thing to forgive yourself for?
- What causes are worth fighting for?
- How much do I think I rely on external validation? — Oh my. This one made me be so real with myself.Â
Those are a few I’ve done recently and I hope they can encourage or help others who want to learn more about themselves, but don’t know where to start. Whatever journaling means to you, I hope you give yourself permission to actually open up — even if it feels stupid at first. Especially then. Remember: this is only for you.