***I am not a mental health expert. A professional should be contacted if feelings of sadness or distress are becoming major obstacles in your day-to-day life.
In the minds of most Americans, November and December are magical havens characterized by freshly-fallen snow, sweet reunions with friends, home cooked meals, and a general feeling of bliss. A tradition that I always think of is watching “Christmas with the Kranks” with my siblings until our stomachs hurt from laughing at Jamie Lee Curtis chasing her hickory honey ham through the parking lot. In theory, the holidays really are “the most wonderful time of the year.” But that’s not always the case for everybody all the time.
The factors responsible for feelings of discomfort during this time range from general despondency to diagnosable disorders. All should be taken seriously. For some, the season is naturally melancholic, and there may not be a specific contributor to pinpoint. It could be a combination of the cold weather, the devastating D7 chord in a lot of Christmas music, and the serene vision of the holidays failing to materialize in quite the right way.
For others, the way that this time of year emphasizes family, materialism, and endearment might in turn amplify feelings of irritability, insufficiency, and/or isolation. A past experience might cause negative memories to resurface each fall and winter, which makes the push for joyfulness and gratitude all the more frustrating and difficult to resonate with. Some may find themselves needing to just “get through” the holidays because the circumstances won’t allow for relaxation.
Most critically, this time of year might bring about anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges that require treatment. Common in a lot of people, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that’s associated with changes in the season, and is estimated to impact 12 million American adults each year. It’s typically onset by interruptions in the circadian rhythm and reduced levels of sunlight, but can be treated with light therapy, talk therapy, and medicine. To learn more about SAD, visit HerCampus writer Orla McGrath’s article published earlier this month.
(You’re more than welcome to adopt any of these mindful practices, but again: if you feel that you might have SAD or a related condition, a professional should be contacted).
Regardless of how, why, or how much you’re struggling, here are some things that might help:
Reach out.
Don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed to confide in someone close to you. Human connection is vital to emotional release, self esteem and healing. If you find that you don’t have a person to go to, try to find support groups, religious organizations (if you’re comfortable with that), or other community events. If you’re not feeling up to leave the house, online therapy sessions or virtual events might be something to look into.
Know your budget.
Before you succumb to the pressure of buying lavish gifts for everybody in your life, figure out how much you can realistically afford to spend so that you’re not stressed or overwhelmed down the line. If you don’t have the money to purchase expensive things, consider making homemade gifts, participating in a gift exchange, or giving your time as a way to make memories with someone you love.
Stay off of social media.
Social media is nothing more than a highlight reel of everybody’s favorite moments. More often than not, photos are either staged, exaggerated, or telling an incomplete story. It can be especially hard during the holidays to see everybody (allegedly) having a good time, hanging out with friends and family, traveling to secluded mountain cabins, getting engaged at a Christmas tree farm, or whatever it might be. Do yourself a favor and embrace the “ignorance is bliss” mindset for a little while.
Get comfortable saying no.
Don’t overschedule yourself this season. Rest and reflection is more important than attending every outing, social event, or corporate Christmas party. If you find that you can’t drop your most pressing commitments (like work), find other things to sacrifice in order to make room for yourself to breathe.
Learn to grieve.
There’s no “right” way to navigate heartache, so if this time of year heightens feelings of remorse for you, keep trying different outlets until you find one that allows you to move through the emotion. You can spend as much time as you need alone, return to old hobbies (to heal your inner child), write down how you feel, and/or talk it out. To manage grief, it’s important to know whether you gain energy from being by yourself or being around other people.
While they’re enchanting and whimsical in the movies, the holidays can be hard beyond the TV screen. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
National lifeline: 800-273-8255
LGBTQ+ youth lifeline: +1-866-488-7386
National domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233
Veterans crisis line: 800-273-8255
Substance abuse national helpline: 800-622-4357