We’ve all experienced a one-sided friendship before. Whether you’re the one pining after someone who doesn’t feel the same way, or the one who isn’t as into the friendship as the other person, this situation is frustrating every time. I think a lot of people who are left feeling drained in friendships are those who are naturally trusting, and who, without realizing, place their hearts in the hands of the wrong people. I’ve definitely had my fair share of draining friendships, so I’ve compiled a list of things to remember that help me get through these frustrating situations.
- It’s not your fault.
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Whenever I am in these situations, I immediately think of everything I must’ve done wrong. I was overly affectionate, I wasn’t affectionate enough, I was too loud, etc. It’s not anyone’s fault! People grow apart. When you meet someone, you might’ve been in the same stage of life as they were, but naturally some friendships fade. You just have to appreciate the time you had with them, but accept that the friendship just isn’t the same anymore, and that’s okay.
- Create boundaries.
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If you feel like you’re giving and not receiving in the friendship, there is no use in trying to make someone give back your energy if they haven’t shown that they will in the past. If completely cutting the person out of your life is too difficult, you can create boundaries for yourself so whenever you do see this person, you won’t feel so drained. You can do this by limiting time spent with them, or giving yourself room to unwind after seeing them. What I’ve learned is that you have more control over the situation than you think. If you feel drained in your friendship, you absolutely have the ability to walk away or do what you feel is best for you.
- Talk to them.
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More often than not, they don’t know that they’re making you feel this way. Confrontation is scary and never fun, but creating an open dialogue with them about how their actions are affecting you could create that breakthrough you’ve been waiting for. If they care about you, they will be more than willing to talk it out and fix the problem head-on. Standing up for yourself is difficult, but so important. If you feel that you’re in a safe environment to do so, standing up for yourself at the moment you feel hurt is ultimately the best thing to do.
- Do not compromise yourself for anyone.
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ust because you’ve had a bad experience this time doesn’t mean that the rest of your friendships are doomed. When I’ve dealt with one-sided friendships, I start to question the ones that are working. I feel like I could’ve done better to make them like me. But if you take anything away from this article, it is to remember that you are perfect just the way you are. Cheesy, I know, but true. The right people will come along who take that beautiful and powerful heart of yours and hold it with care. You cannot let people who weren’t able to love all of you determine your worth.
One-sided friendships are always frustrating, but they are not the end of the world. People come and go, and friendships fade, and that’s okay! You know what you are worth, so don’t let people determine that for you. If you are in a draining friendship right now, I feel for you. I’ve been there, but you can get through it. Keep your head held high, friend.